Two Weeks in a Mini Van
by Charismatic Enigma
Summary: Final Chapter! It's finally over! It's down to the final two Smashers, and they will have one final challenge! How many times can I use the word "final" in one summary?
1. Chapter 1

Two Weeks in a Mini-Van by Charismatic Enigma

Disclaimer: I do not own Super Smash Brothers Melee, Nintendo, a 1994 Toyota Camry LE Wagon, and this story was originally created by my old account SmashFan21. So don't say I stole it, because I'm him! I also don't own anything else I forgot to mention. (Wonders if disclaimer actually have a point)

-One morning, at Smash HQ-

Ness: Man, I'm bored!

Kirby: How about some TV?

Bowser: There's never anything good on.

Roy: We could always watch some-

Mario: No! We're not-a watching 'The Love Boat' again-a!

Roy: Aw...

Link swings his sword around randomly, accidentally hitting and fatally wounding Mr. Game & Watch.

Link: Oops.

Kirby: That's the second time this week Link!

Kirby drags the 2D corpse and sticks it in the paper shedder, and dumps the scraps into the basement where the Ice Climbers bodies were disposed of.

Young Link runs in from the Kitchen with a worried look on his face.

Young Link: Where's all the Lon-Lon Milk?

Yoshi: I think we're out...

Young Link stares and his eye starts twitching.

Young Link: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!

Darth Vader: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!

Tyson Tomko: No.

Will Smith: Aw _hell_ naw.

Yoshi: What...the...hell...?

Ness: Hey guys, I just found some Lon-Lon Milk from under the couch-

Young Link swiftly whips out his boomerang, and throws it at the Lon-Lon Milk. It returns to him and he drinks the Lon-Lon Milk in just two gulps.

Ness: -that must be at least a month old...

Young Link runs to the bathroom after turning some shade of green.

Meanwhile, in Master Hand's Grand Spiffy Chamber of Hand...

Master Hand sighs.

Master Hand: Crazy, we need a new idea. It gets pretty old just watching them kill each other and come back to life and do it again.

Crazy Hand: I kNoW! wE cOuLd TaKe SeVeN oF tHeM, pUt ThEm In A 1994 ToYoTa CaMrY lE wAgOn, AnD mAkE sTaY iN iT wItH eAcH oThEr FoR tHrEe WeEkS!

Master Hand: Ok, first-

Master Hand snaps his fingers, and magically, Crazy Hand's text was normal.

Master Hand: -And second, that's got to be the _worst_ idea since Smash Brothers guest-starring on Scooby Doo!

Flashback

Scooby: Roinks! A roast!

Link: Mmmm, a roast sound pretty good about now.

Mario: Posh-a! My-a pasta is sooooo much better than-a crappy roast!

Shaggy: He said, 'Zoinks! A ghost!'.

Popo: A ghost! Aieeeeeeeeeeeee! jumps into Mario's arms

Ness: Pffft, I've killed tons of zombies and ghosts. Well, _technically_ I made them 'disappaear', but still.

Samus arms a missle and blows the ghost up.

Fred: Hey, you're not supposed to do that!

Samus: Why not? Why not just blow the thing up and be done?

Velma: What if it was a person pretending to be a ghost? It would be inhumane to kill!

Samus: Sucks to be him? No, nevermind, sucks to be _you_!

Samus fires a missle at all the Scooby Doo characters.

End Flashback

Master Hand: Wait a minute, lightbulb!

Ding!

Master Hand: We should take seven of them, put them in a 1994 Toyota Camry LE Wagon, and make them stay in it with each other for_two_ weeks.

Crazy Hand: But I...Oh forget it. Good idea MH.

Master Hand: Now excuse me, I need to go get seven of them.

-Back at Smash HQ...-

Rico Suave is playing.

Ness: Rico.

Kirby: Suave.

Young Link: -random...uh...not English words-

Kirby: Rico.

Ness: Suave.

Young Link: Rico.

Kirby: Suave.

Young Link: -random not English-

Ness: Rico.

Young Link: Suave.

Kirby: Rico.

Ness: Suave.

Then, Samus decided to blow up the radio.

Ness: Noooooooooooo!

Kirby: Noooooooooooo!

Young Link: Nooooooooooooo!

Darth Vader: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!

Tyson Tomko: No.

Will Smith: Aw _hell_ naw.

Master Hand poofs in.

Master Hand: Hi everyone!

All: AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!

Master Hand: What? What is it? ZOMG IS IT A GHOST? AIEEEEEEEEEEEEE!

Master Hand flys around in circles until he gets dizzy and hits a wall.

Master Hand clears his throat.

Master Hand: Anyway, I want seven of you to come outside into a 1994 Toyota Camry LE, and stay in it for two weeks. Youmay bring two choice items with you. Two people are in front, two in the middle, and three in back. Any volunteers?

Everyone promptly steps back, except for Luigi, who was digging into a bowl of pasta at the time.

Luigi: Huh?

Master Hand: Ah, Luigi! Thanks for volunteering! What will be your choice items, and where would you like to sit?

Luigi: Um, I'll bring-a my Nintendo DS and Mario Kart DS. I'll-a sit in the middle.

Ness: Hell, why not? I'll bring my baseball bat and a the EarthBound Guidebook so I can read about how much I rock.

Kirby: If Ness is going, I'll come too! I'll bring a jar of cookies and my cellphone. I'll sit in the back.

Young Link: If you guys are going, I'll tag along. I'll bring a twelve-pack of Lon-Lon Milk and my Boomerang. I'll sit in the last seat in the back.

Mario is then poked by Link's sword, and he jumps up.

Mario: Ouch!

Master Hand: Mario! What will you bring, and where will you sit?

Mario: Wha? I'll get you-a for this, Link! Um, I'll-a sit in the middle and bring my Nintendo DS and Mario Kart DS so I-a can own Luigi!

Roy: I'll sit in the passanger seat and bring my sword and an extra pair of socks.

Master Hand: Why a pair of socks?

Roy: I don't know, I just have a feeling I might need them.

Master Hand: Ok, whatever man...Anyone else?

Samus: I will join in this little contest. I'll sit in the driver's seat and bring my Power Suit and a pack of bubblegum.

Master Hand: Why gum?

Samus: Because AHM KICKIN ASS AND CHEWIN BUBBLEGUM, AND AHM ALL OUTTA BUBBLEGUM!

Master Hand: ...The car is outside...

Roy: Say, what does the winner get?

Master Hand: (thinking: Damn! I nearly got away without paying this time!) Two million dollars/gold/whatever.

All: Oooooooohhhh...

Ness: So, how do we go about winning?

Master Hand: Every once in a while, I'll poof in and there will be some sort of contest, and if you win, you can't be voted out of the car.

Roy: Geez, what is this, Survivor?

Master Hand: N-no, I'm not ripping anything off! Nothing!

Master Hand snaps his fingers and all the Smashers are teleported to the car.

-To be continued-

A/N: After the end of the story, I'm going to add a little chapter to talk about changes, additions, and subtractions from the original Two Weeks in a Mini-Van story. Also look out for a revision of Link Fights Random People.


	2. Chapter 2

Two Weeks in a Mini-Van by Charismatic Enigma

Disclaimer: I don't own Nintendo, Toyota, Super Smash Brothers: Melee, WWE, Scooby Doo, Donovan McNabb, Final Fantasy, and whatever else I didn't mention. This story was originally created by my old SmashFan21 account, so I didn't steal this.

A/N: Forget what I said about revising LFRP, I may someday, but it just isn't a high priority for me right now. I do wish to eventually finish it.

-DAY ONE-

Samus is bouncing around like an idiot in her seat.

Roy: Whoa, what's wrong with you Samus?

Samus: YES IT IS!

Roy looks down and sees an empty pack of bubblegum, and he reads the label out loud.

Roy (reading wrapper): Supa Duppa Sugar Filled Sour Bubble Yummy! Warning: Do not eat entire pack at once. Side effects may include, but are not limited to, Insanity, Seizures, Temporary loss of all motor skills, impaired vision, random explosions -

At that time, a random explosion happened somewhere...

Donovan McNabb: OH MY GOD! THE PAIN! THIS IS THE PUNISHMENT FOR THOSE SOUP COMMERCIALS ISN'T IT? I'M SORRY, I PROMISE NOT TO DO ANOTHER ONE EVER!

Back at the van...

Roy: -and acting like a noob on the internet. Oh hell...

Samus: UWE HEE HEE! I'M KEFKA GET IT LOL!

Meanwhile, in the back of the van...

Young Link is drinking all of his Lon-Lon Milk.

Young Link: Ah! Lon-Lon Milk! The choice of a new generation!

A Pepsi Employee hands Young Link a check.

Ness: Hey Samus, turn on your built-in radio!

Samus: TOFU IS GOOD FOR PLASTIC!

Samus hits a button on her Power Suit, and Luigi's hat falls from his head.

Luigi: What-a the hell?

Luigi stops playing his DS long enough to put his hat back on.

Mario: I-a win!

Luigi: Hey-a, that's-a not fair!

Then, Kirby sucks up his whole cookie jar and turns brown.

Meta Knight: He is now Cookie Kirby!

And with that, Meta Knight mysteriously disappeared.

Kirby: Ummm, what?

Ness: What's a Cookie Kirby?

Young Link: I don't know...

Kirby: Hm, maybe if I try using the power...

And then, Kirby magically made a cookie appear.

Young Link, Ness, & Kirby: Holy censored!

Young Link: I call that one!

Ness: No way, I get it!

Kirby: Well, there's only one fair way to do this if you both want it.

And with that, Kirby ate the cookie.

Young Link: You bastard!

Kirby, Ness, and Young Link all begin to brawl.

Jim Ross: Baw Gawd the humanity Kang!

Jerrly Lawler: Look at the puppies on Samus!

Scrappy Doo: DADADADADA! PUPPY POWER!

Samus: FWA HA HA HA! I WAS EXDEATH THAT TIME YOU KNOW THE TREE DUDE!

Exdeath: Hey, don't make fun of my tree form! It's better than being a gay angel!

Sephiroth: ...Are you talking about me?

Exdeather: Um, n-no, I meant Kefka...Yeah...That gay angel.

Samus: Whoa...My head...What happened?

Roy picks up the wrapper and shows it to Samus.

Samus: ...Daaaaaaaaamn.

Samus is hit by a flying Kirby who was thrown by Ness's psychic powers.

Samus: Ouch! I know how to stop them!

Samus hits a button on her radio, and Rico Suave begins playing.

Ness stops, Young Link stops, and Kirby stops in midair. But then Kirby realizes this isn't a cartoon and falls down.

Ness: Rico.

Kirby: Sauve.

Young Link: -random not English

This goes on for a couple hours until Samus decides to shut off the radio.

Ness: I'm better now.

Kirby: Hey, it's pretty dark out. I'm going to bed.

All: Good idea.

-DAY TWO-

Everyone is still sleeping. Roy and Samus are snuggled up to each other (A/N: Samus brought her Power Suit, she's not wearing it. That would be rather uncomfortable to sleepin if you ask me.), and Ness and Young Link are using Kirby as a pillow.

Samus begins to stir, and the first site she sees is Roy sleeping right next to her.

Samus: AIEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!

Roy then wakes up.

Roy: Huh...? WHOA, SCORE!

Samus then puts on her suit and hits Roy in the face with a missle. The noise wakes everyone else up.

Mario: Mama mia, what's all of this noise?

Roy coughs, and he turns around to reveal his charred face.

Master Hand poofs in.

Master Hand: All right everyone! Good morning! Come out of the van for a five minute bathroom and water break!

All: YAY!

-TO BE CONTINUED-

A/N: I am going to be redoing all of the break chapters, since they were semi-interactive. Just tell me if you want a non-SSBM character to make a cameo in a review. Also, if you want to make an appearance, give me a general idea of your personallity and what you want to do while you're there. If no one reviews after a bit, I'll just write it and pick my own cameos. So drop a review!


	3. Chapter 3

Two Weeks in a Mini-Van by Charismatic Enigma

Disclaimer: I don't own Nintendo, Toyota, Super Smash Brothers: Melee, Final Fantasy, NFL, Oscar Mayer, and Tim Allen.

A/N: Whoa, Eternal Smasher reviewed. I'm really lovin' Recorder right now, keep up the excellent work man.

-DAY TWO-

Samus and Zelda are chatting in the women's bathroom...

Samus: So, Roy totally was putting the moves on me.

Zelda: Oh my god, what did you do?

Samus: Well, I think I could show you better than explain.

Samus armed a missle and blew a hole in the wall.

Zelda: You go girl.

Samus: Show me some skin!

Zelda and Samus high five, and Zelda breaks her hand on Samus armor.

Zelda: Aieeeee!

Samus: Oops. You know, this reminds me of the time I was at the Super Bowl.

FLASHBACK

Announcer: Touchdown New England!

Samus: Woo hoo!

NE Fan: Yeah!

The fan and Samus try to jump into each other, and she wind up breaking the guys ribs in multiple place.

END FLASHBACK

All of a sudden, a panther crashes through the roof of the mens bathroom, quite randomly I might add.

Roy: Wow, that was a random entrance! I have a question though.

Panther: What?

Roy: How come you didn't break the roof?

The panther looks up, and sees the roof is intact.

Panther: Crap! I didn't think far enough into my entrance! By the way, I'm Quarma the Panther.

Roy: Wow, a talking animal! Do you know Sonic?

Then, Roy randomly throws an Oscar Mayer weenier at Quarma.

The panther's eye twitches, and then he begins to sing the Oscar Mayer song, randomly, to Roy. But it didn't stop there, as Tim Allen crashed through the roof, wielding a power drill.

Tim Allen: It's Tool Time!

Quarma: Ahhhhhhhhh!

Tim chases Quarma all the way to the end of the world, and then they both fall of into nothingness. Very randomly.

Ness: Strange people these days.

Young Link: Quite.

Kirby: I say, let us return to the automobile.

Ness: I concur.

Young Link: As do I.

As the three return to the van, Mario and Luigi blink a few times, and then run around like chickens with their heads cut off.

Luigi: HEAD ASPLODE!

Mario: Ditto!

Ditto: Ditto!

Master Hand: Ok, that's enough of that buisness! Into the van with you!

And thus, the first break ended.

-Night Two-

Samus is relaxing when she overhears something coming from the back of the van...

Ness: I'm telling you, Einstien is wrong!

Kirby: And I'm telling you that the Quantum Theory is more correct now than ever!

Young Link: I say you two, you sound like bickering little children.

Everyone but the three in the back attempt to run around like chickens with their heads cut off, but fail!

Roy: But fail? What are we now, Final Fantasy?

Cloud: Aeris!

Aeris is promptly stabbed to death by Sephiroth/

Sephiroth: I am so badass.

Samus: Excuse me, but wierd cameo day was yesterday! Buh bye!

Samus encountered Sephiroth.

Samus used Screw Attack on all FF Characters! Infinity damage!

Sephiroth: I got killed by something called Screw Attack? Noooooooooo! That's un-badass like!

Disembodied Voice: Samus wins! Samus gains 0 EXP! Found Tissue! Found Flower! Found Hair Gel x99! Found Oversized Sword! Found Badass Sword!

Mario: I-a win!

Luigi: Noooooooooo! Damn you-a FF characters!

-To Be Continued...-

A/N: Y Helo Thar, Reviews. More reviews Faster chapters! Sorry for the shortness, the next one will be longer.I can get the first few done pretty quickly as the first few days are modifications and revisions of the original story. The reason I really started over is because the last two chaters of the original were, looking back, terrible. At least to me. Now review!


	4. Chapter 4

Two Weeks in a Mini-Van by Charismatic Enigma

Disclaimer: I don't own Nintendo, Toyota, Super Smash Brothers: Melee, Sonic the Hedgehog, Final Fantasy, James Bond, Star Wars, Trigun, and anything else I forgot.

-Day Three-

Ness awakes from his slumber and finds himself inside of Young Link's...hat.

Ness: Hm, I appear to be in the head robe of my comrade.

Young Link: Intriguing!

Then, a zombie-like Kirby speaks.

Kirby: Fooooooooooooooooood...HUNNNNNNNNNNNGERRRRRRRRRRRRR...

Young Link: Oh my.

Kirby's POV

Sandwich (Ness): Oh dear.

Cheeseburger (Young Link): I do not find this perdicament to be favorable.

Big Bagel (Luigi): Hey-a, why is Kirby staring at-a me like-a that?

CHOMP!

Normal POV

Luigi: Ahhhhhhhhhhhh! The little puff bit me!

Mario: I-a win!

Luigi faints.

Yugi Moto: It's time to duel!

Tim Allen: No, it's Tool Time!

Stone Cold: My watch says it's 3:16!

Stone Cold Stunners Tim and Yugi.

Ness: Inquiry.

Young Link: Yes, Ness?

Ness: How is all this taking place in an enclosed environment such as this? And how did Tim Allen return from nothingness?

A plot hole opens up and sucks Yugi, Tim, and Stone Cold into the void.

-The Void-

Quarma: About time you got back.

Tim Allen: Nooooooooooooo!

Darth Vader: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!

Tyson Tomko: No.

Will Smith: Aw hell naw.

-Van-

Master Hand: WAZZZZZZZZZZZZZAAAAAAAAAAP!

Roy: What is this, the 90's?

Master Hand: I'll ignore that remark. Anyway, proceed out of the van for a challenge game!

The van quickly empties.

Master Hand: Anyway, it's Duck Hunt time!

Samus: Haha! This will be cake!

Then, a random bypasser hits another random bypasser with a cake.

Master Hand: Ho ho ho! That's what you think!

Roy: What are you, Santa Clause?

Master Hand: What is with these questions? It's like the damned Spanish Inquizition! And anway, allow me to introduce, all the way from Final Fantasy IV, Rydia!

The studio audience cheers.

Roy: I thought that studio audience moved away?

Rydia: Duck!

Out of nowhere, Mario, Luigi, Samus, Roy, Ness, Young Link, and Kirby are all transformed into ducks!

Roy: What the duck?

Master Hand: As you can see, this is Duck Hunt. However, you are the ducks! And now, the people who will be trying to shoot you...

Vincent Valentine from Final Fantasy VII!

James Bond from the 007 movies!

Han Solo from Star Wars!

And Vash the Stampede from Trigun!

Master Hand: Ready...Begin!

Vincent easily picks off Ness, Young Link, and Kirby as they were arguing about Quantum Psysics.

Luigi is doing pretty good, so Mario decides to play a little trick.

Mario: I-a win!

Luigi: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! IT'S NO FAIR!

Luigi is shot by Han Solo.

Mario: Woo hoo! I-a am the man-

Mario is shot by Vash.

Mario: Damn-a!

Samus and Roy are both easily dodging the bullets and laser fire. However, a random fangirl caught the attention of Roy. Roy stops to stare and drool, and is shot by James Bond.

Disembodied Voice: This game's winner is...SAMUS.

Rydia: Duck!

The spell on the Smash Brothers is reversed.

Rydia: Cure!

All the Smash Brothers are all better now. Yay.

Rydia: Teleport!

Vincent, Han Solo, Bond, Vash, and Rydia are all teleported away.

Master Hand: Good job Samus, you are now immune from any votes when we vote someone out of the van later.

Samus: Yay!

And there was much rejoicing.

-Night 3-

Samus: lol i pwnd j00 n00bz

Roy: It wasn't my fault. I got distracted!

Luigi: And that is the story of my life...

Mario: I-a win!

Luigi then proceeds to say a lot of words that I would have to censor, except for you, dirty, little, son of a, and mother.

Samus: Mother, that's nice!

It takes an ugly turn from there.

Shadow the Hedgehog: It all starts with this...A jewel containing the ultimate power!

Sonic the Hedgehog: That's a...Choas Emerald!

Tails: No shit, Sherlock!

Sonic: Tails! What's wrong?

Tails: What's wrong? WHAT'S WRONG? I'll tell you what's wrong! I HATE YOU! YOU ALWAYS LEFT ME TO DIE! I ALWAYS SAID WAIT, BUT YOU JUST KEPT ON RUNNING! I WAS SHOT, BITTEN, IMPALED, AND DROWNED, BUT DID YOU EVER SLOW DOWN? NO! I'M FINALLY GONNA MAKE YOU PAY SONIC!

Tails grabs sonic and flies away.

Shadow: Sigh...White people...

Shadow teleports away, while screaming is heard in the distance.

Sonic: Please don't do this! Wait!

Tails: ...Wait...? Wait? WAIT? DOESN'T THAT SOUND FAMILIAR, SONIC?

Tails heats a spoon and stabs Sonic with it.

Samus: Sigh...White people...

Roy: I AM A ROCK! I AM AN IIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIISLAND!

Luigi: What the hell?

Mario: I-a win!

Luigi passes out due to anger.

Kirby passes Young Link some popcorn because he wanted some.

Ness passed gas because...I don't know, ask him.

Roy starts doing random bird calls.

Sonic: Please stop Tails! PLEASE!

Tails: STOP? STOP? DO YOU KNOW HOW MANY TIMES I ASKED YOU THAT?

Sonic: What are you going to do with that? NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!

Sonic makes a sound resembling the sound a gerbil makes when it is put under a hot iron.

Master Hand: Ok, that's enough!

A shotgun can be heard in the distance.

Sonic: AHHHHHHHHHHHHHH! OH MY GOD WHY?

Master Hand sends Sonic and Tails to The Void.

Master Hand: Ok, now that everything is normal...Vote someone you want out of the van! And remember, you can't vote for Samus!

Samus: I vote Roy because he keeps doing wierd things.

Roy: I vote Ness...Why? I asked him why he passed gas like it said and he didn't answer!

Luigi: I vote off Mario because he is stupid and I keep getting distracted!

Luigi begins to cry.

Mario: I vote off Luigi because he's a crybaby!

Kirby: I vote off Young Link because he is stupid!

Young Link: I vote off Kirby because he stole that cookie!

Ness: Me too!

Master Hand: Sorry Kirby, you lose!

Kirby: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!

Master Hand sends Kirby to The Void.

Master Hand: Well, see you guys tomorrow!

-To Be Continued...-

A/N: I am going to be doing a story called Life in The Void, which will be based off of this. However, Quarma the Panther, please tell me in a review if I may use you in the story. Thanks. Remember, more reviews makes a faster chapter! However, chapters won't be as fast anymore, because this is where I am starting from scratch! See you!


	5. Chapter 5

Two Weeks in a Mini-Van by Charismatic Enigma

Disclaimer: I don't own Nintendo, Toyota, Super Smash Brothers: Melee, or anything else I forgot.

A/N: Quarma the Panther, the cameo requests are for break chapters only. However, please respond in a review if you want to be in my in progress story Life in The Void, Quarma.

-Day 4-

Ness: Muhahahaha!

Young Link: Muhahahaha!

Luigi: What the hell-a are you doing?

Mario: I-a win!

Luigi: ARGH!

Master Hand: You know, since I'm all powerful and just so much cooler than all of you, I have decided we will have a challenge RIGHT NOW.

Roy: Ok...

Samus: Whatever.

Master Hand: Aren't overwhelmed with fear and shock?

Ness: Not really...

Master Hand: That's it, now I'm going to make this unpleasant! It's time for...

THE WHEEL OF DOOOM

Ness: What is...

THE WHEEL OF DOOOM

Master Hand: ...

THE WHEEL OF DOOOM

Master Hand: ...is what I will spin to determine the challenge!

Samus: Why does it do that?

Master Hand: Do what?

Samus: Go like...

THE WHEEL OF DOOOM

Master Hand: Because it looks cool. I'm mean, come on.

THE WHEEL OF DOOOM

Young Link: ...

THE WHEEL OF DOOOM

Ness: ...

THE WHEEL OF DOOOM

Luigi: ...

THE WHEEL OF DOOOM

Mario: I-a win!

Luigi: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!

Roy: ...

THE WHEEL OF DOOOM

Master Hand: Ok, stop. That costs money everytime.

Roy, Samus, Mario, Ness, Young Link, and Luigi: ...

THE WHEEL OF DOOOM

Master Hand: Just shut up and get out of the car!

Mario: Why-a, so we can spin...

THE WHEEL OF DOOOM

Ness: Oh no, not...

THE WHEEL OF DOOOM

Eventually, after a few thousand dollars of Master Hand's money, the Smashers get ready to spin...

THE WHEEL OF DOOOM

Master Hand: All right, I will spin...it...and whatever...it...lands on will be the challenge.

Master Hand spins it, around and around it goes, where it stops, I know. However, Ness also knows, as he decides to use his psychic powers to make it stop on...

ROCK, PAPER, SCISSORS TOURNAMENT!

Roy: Gasp!

Samus: Gasp!

Young Link: Gasp!

Luigi: Gasp!

Mario: I-a win!

Master Hand: ...It has decided. We will have a...

ROCK, PAPER, SCISSORS TOURNAMENT!

Roy: Oh no, not a...

ROCK, PAPER, SCISSORS TOURNAMENT!

Master Hand: ARGH! I am killing whoever is doing that...Anyway, here is the tournament...

Roy vs. Ness, Samus vs. Young Link, Mario vs. Luigi (winner of M v L automatically is in the final round)

Roy: I'm gonna so beat you.

Ness: I beg to differ. I am psychic you know.

Roy: Oh no. I forgot.

Roy gets Rock, Ness gets Paper.

Master Hand: Ness advances.

Young Link: I warn you Samus, I am quite good at this activity.

Samus:You're not so smart.

Young Link: Oh ho! Really?

Samus: Yeah! Hold out the number of fingers of four minus two!

Young Link hols out two fingers, and Samus immediatly holds out Rock.

Master Hand: Samus wins!

Young Link: Noooooooooooooo!

Mario: I-a win!

Luigi goes into a coma.

Master Hand: Looks like Mario wins then...Ok, Samus vs. Ness.

Ness: You don't stand a chance.

Samus: You wanna bet?

Ness: No, not really.

Ness holds out Rock, and Samus holds out Paper.

Ness: DOULBE YOU TEE EFF?

Samus: I thought scissors, but I did paper. It isn't that hard. Roy is just an idiot.

Ness: Quite.

Roy: Hey, I represent that remark!

Samus: See what I mean?

Master Hand: Samus wins, now it's the final round of...this.

Ness: Of what, the...

ROCK, PAPER, SCISSORS TOURNAMENT!

Master Hand: YES! NOW STOP SYAING IT!

Roy: Saying what, ...

Master Hand: I KILL THE NEXT ONE WHO SAYS IT!

Long story short, Samus had rock, Mario had scissors.

Master Hand: Samus is immune yet again!

Samus: I rock. HAHAHAAHA GET IT? ROCK?

Master Hand: ...Get back in the car.

-Night 4-

Master Hand: Ok then Smashers, it's time to vote someone out. Wait, where's Luigi?

Sobbing can be heard from the trunk, so Master Hand opens it.

Psychiatrist: Tell me about the problem...

Luigi: He keeps beating me...It's no fair...I KEEP GETTING DISTRACTED!

Luigi bursts into tears.

Master Hand: What the...Oh forget.

Master Hand sends the psychiatrist to The Void.

Master Hand: Ok, vote.

Samus: I vote for Roy because he's an idiot.

Roy: I vote for Ness because he cheated me! HE SCREWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWED ME!

Edge: I WAS SCREWWWWWWWWWWWWED!

Master Hand sends Edge to The Void.

Mario: I vote for Luigi because he's a crybaby.

Luigi: I vote for Mario because he's a (many censored words)!

Ness: I vote for Young Link.

Master Hand: Ok Young Link, whoever you vote for, other than Samus, goes.

Young Link: Hmm...Well, it's not gonna be Mario or Luigi because the I-a win thing is gold...Roy is too dumb to vote out, so NESS!

Ness: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!

Master Hand sends Ness to The Void...WITH AUTHORITY.

-The Void-

Everyone is staring intensly at each other.

Quarma: ...

Tim Allen: ...

Darth Vader: ...

Tyson Tomko: ...

Will Smith: ...

Kirby: ...

Yugi Moto: ...

Stone Cold: ...

Quarma: Got any threes?

Darth Vader: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO. Go fish.

Quarma: Damn!

Darth Vader: Will, got any...Fives?

Will Smith looks at his hand and has a five.

Will Smith: Aw hell naw. Go fish.

A screaming Ness falls into The Void.

-The Van-

Master Hand: Well, see you tomorrow everyone.

-Day Five-

The time is five in the morning, and all in the van were sleeping soundly. That is, until they heard Master Hand's voice over a megaphone.

Master Hand: Ok people, wake up!

Not a soul stirred.

Master Hand: WAKE UP OR I WILL KILL YOU!

Everyone wakes up. Long story short, they were out of the van for a challenge.

Master Hand: Ok, the challenge is to...STAND ON THOSE POLES!

BUM BUM BUMMMMM!

Roy: What is this, Survivor?

Master Hand: No...I just thought it would be a good idea to have you stand on those poles.

BUM BUM BUMMMMM!

Master Hand: Ok, new challenge. Whoever finds and kills whoever is doing that wins!

OH SHNAP!

Young Link, Roy, and Mario ran into the Mansion while Luigi and Samus searched outside.

-Inside the mansion-

Roy and Mario head upstairs.

Roy and Mario split up, Roy staying on the second floor and Mario going to the third floor.

Roy opens various Smash Brothers doors, getting slapped by Zelda and Peach, shot by Fox, and electrocuted by Pikachu. Mario, however had some luck.

Mario: Hey Pichu, I'll give you a dollar if you help me search for someone!

Pichu: Ooooo...I'm in!

Meanwhile, outside, Samus headed into the basement via a convient trapdoor. She was greeted by the smell of the dead Ice Climbers and little shreads of what used to be Mr. Game & Watch. It seemed like the perfect place to go if you didn't want to be found. Get some privacy. Howver, Samus found Captain Falcon having some private time of his own.

Captain Falcon: Mmmmmmmmm, it's soooooooo good. All warm and white...

Samus: What the hell are you doing you sick bastard?

Captain Falcon: Ah! Samus! It's not what you think!

Samus spins Falcon around and sees his mouth is full of...a sandwich.

Samus: Oh. It's just a sandwich.

Captain Falcon: Wow, she didn't notice the nude pictures of her in the corner I got from spying on her, or that I'm using the last of the turkey in this sandwich.

Samus: What did you say?

Captain Falcon: Uhhh...

Captain Falcon, being the quick thinker that he is, took a Twix bar from out of nowhere and stuffed it in his mouth.

Samus: Need a moment? Grab a Twix.

A Twix employee hands Samus a check.

While this is going on Luigi walks into the Living Room where Marth, Yoshi, Link, and Gannondorf are playing Poker.

Link: Hit me.

Marth: Uh, Link, this isn't Blackjack.

Link: Oh, sorry about that. Yoshi, got any three's?

Yoshi: Link, this isn't Go Fish.

Link: Whoops.

Link lays down an eight.

Link: I change the suit to...Diamonds.

Gannondorf: This isn't Crazy Eight's you moron!

Link: Then what the hell are we playing?

Yoshi: Poker!

Link: Never heard of it.

Gannondorf throws Link out of the room.

Marth: Hey Luigi, come play!

Luigi: Ok...I guess I can play one game...

Meanwhile, a certain person named Mario...Oh crap, all the suspense was just ruined. Oh well. He was getting close.

Mario: Ok Pichu, where is he?

Pichu: This way! I can smell him...

The electric mouse led Mario to Master Hand's Grand Spiffy Chamber of Hand! There was a little sticky note hanging from the door that read:

"Do not enter, Crazy Hand is NOT making big spiffy messages appear for certain phrases, such as...

THE WHEEL OF DOOOM

...or...

ROCK, PAPER, SCISSORS TOURNAMENT!

..."

Mario: Hm, something seems pretty fishy about this door...

Fabio the Delivery Guy: No, that's just the fish sticks this guy ordered.

Mario: Oh. Hey, is that a shotgun?

Fabio: No...

Mario: Yes it is.

Fabio: Well if you knew it was, why did you ask?

Mario, instead of continuing what would inevitably be a long, dull, and pointless back and forth arguement, he jumped up into the air and did way more flips than necessary or possible, grabbed onto Fabio's head, and twisted it like a lightbulb until it snapped and come off! Blood poored everywhere, and some even got on poor Pichu. To make a long story short-

Mario: Too late!

Mario killed Fabio. And for his troubles, he got the shotgun. Mario then knocked on the doors of the Grand Spiffy Chamber of Hand. There was no answer! So he knocked harder. No answer! So Mario pounded on the door. Still no answer! So now Mario was getting angry! He tried kicking the door, but he wound up breaking his foot. He tried to huff, and puff, and blow the doors down, but he accidently made one of his lungs explode! Now Mario was running out of ideas! He decided to charge right into the door and break it down. Mario backed up, charged, and broke his shoulder on the door. Pichu, not being a complete moron, merely turned the doorknob and opened the door. Pichu picked up the shotgun in his mouth, and shot Crazy Hand, who was sitting at a computer.

Pichu: Wheel of Dooom. Rock, Paper, Scissors Tournament!. Ok, it's all good.

Pichu put the shotgun in Mario's hand, and took a well earned dollar from the plummers pants.

Not too long after, Roy walked back to the van bruised and burned, Mario walked backed to the van wearing many casts, Luigi walked back nude, and Samus was the only one...normal.

Master Hand blinks a few times, stunned.

Master Hand: I don't think I wanna know, but what the hell?

Roy: I got to see boobies! The pain was worth it...

Luigi: I lost...A lot. Everything. I wonder why the fact I don't know how to play Poker didn't stop me...

Mario: Well while you were all slacking off, I killed the one behind this all!

Master Hand: Who?

Mario: Uhh...Fabio. The Delivery Guy.

Master Hand: Ah ha! I always knew he was up to no good. Well, good job winning immunity Mario. Back in the van with you. You'll vote someone else out tomorrow!

-To be Continued-

A/N: More reviews faster chapters.


	6. Chapter 6

Two Weeks in a Mini-Van by Charismatic Enigma

Disclaimer: I don't own Nintendo, Toyota, Super Smash Brothers: Melee, or anything else I forgot.

A/N: Zomgwtfbbq an update!11111111111

-Night 5-

Samus: You know Young Link, I don't think there was any mention of you during the last challenge. Where were you?

Young Link: Well, I decided I didn't really need immunity so this is what I did instead...

-Flashback-

Young Link is in the kitchen, making a sandwich, when he makes a shocking discovery.

Young Link: WHO TOOK THE LAST OF THE TURKEY?

-Back in real-time-

Samus: Wow.

Young Link: Indeed.

Luigi: It's cold...I wish I hadn't lost all my clothes.

Roy: Me too. It isn't plesant seeing you without pants Luigi.

Mario: Come on-a, Luigi, just-a one more game!

Luigi: No! I'm-a sick of that damn game-a!

Then, Master Hand makes a flashy and smokey entrance into the van.

Master Hand: Alakazam! I'm here!

Roy: -coughing, and waving away smoke- But damn, did you need so much smoke?

Master Hand: Of course! I am the allmighty Master Hand! BOW BEFORE MY SUPREME POWERS!

Samus: What supreme powers?

Master Hand: Well...I can, uh...Make James Woods appear! Behold!

James Woods: Where the hell am I?

Roy: WOW! JAMES WOODS! can I have your autograph? I'm a big fan.

James Woods: Sure thing.

Roy: Uhhh, damn I don't have anything for you to sign...Hey, wait...

-Flashback-

Roy: I'll sit in the passanger seat and bring my sword and an extra pair of socks.

Master Hand: Why a pair of socks?

Roy: I don't know, I just have a feeling I might need them.

-End Flashback-

Roy: Here, sign these socks!

Roy hands James Woods the socks and he signs them.

Roy: Wow, thanks!

Samus: You know, I'd rather have James Woods as our host than that lame hand.

Luigi: Me too!

Young Link: Me too!

Master Hand: Me to- Hey, wait a minute! You can't just go taking over my show James Woods!

James Woods: Oh but I can, Mr. Hand. My powers are far superior to yours. Behold!

With that, James Woods snaps his all powerful fingers and sends Master Hand into the Underworld.

All: Yay! All hail James Woods!

James Woods: You're too kind. Now, get rested for tomorrow, because one of you is going home.

All: Yes sir!

-Day 6-

It is five in the morning, and not a soul was stirring the the Smash Mansion...However, two evil hands were plotting revenge in the Underworld...Kind of.

Crazy Hand: Damn it Master Hand, what do we do now?

Master Hand; Shut up! I'm thinking!

Crazy Hand: Let's just make our move and get on with things!

Master Hand: Stop rushing me, these things take time! Umm...ahhh...B-5!

Auron: Miss.

Master Hand: Son of a-

Crazy Hand: MH, why are we wasting our time with this game for?

Master Hand was sitting across from Auron in some remote corner of the Underworld, playing Battleship on a rock.

Master Hand: Silence! Let my foolish oppent think about which target he wants to miss next!

Auron: A2.

Master Hand checks his board, and sees a ship in that square.

Master Hand: ...You're right, Crazy we shouldn't be wasting our time on this game.

Auron: You're not pussing out, are you Master Hand?.

Master Hand: SILENCE!

-Back in the van-

James Woods: Okay guys, it's time somebody left the van. Keep in mind that no one will be voted out again for four days. And also keep in mind that Mario won immunity last time. Begin voting.

Samus: I vote Roy because he is an idiot, a pervert, and a moron, and a pervert, and a-

James Woods: We get it.

Roy: I vote Samus because she is mean and won't let me get it on with her.

Samus fires a missle at Roy, hitting him right in the face.

Mario: I-a vote Luigi because he refuses to play with me!

Luigi: I vote Mario because I HATE YOUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU!

Anakin Skywalker: I HATE YOUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU!

James Woods: Uhhh, two things. Luigi, Mario has immunity. And, uh, does stuff like that happen all the time?

Samus: Yep.

Luigi: Fine! I vote for...Hmmm...Roy.

Roy: Damn!

Young Link: Well, since I want to waste time with a tiebreaker so there is more story, I'll pick Luigi.

James Woods: Well, there seems to be a tie between Roy and Luigi. And since I feel like being an ass to Luigi, I'll make you guys play a game of Mario Kart DS!

Luigi: Nooooooooooooooooooo! DAMN YOU JAMES WOODS!

Roy: What's a DS?

James Woods: ...Just play.

James Woods hands each potential loser a Nintendo DS, and they choose their racers.

Roy: Why can't I pick myself?

Luigi: Are you a Mario character?

Roy: No, I'm a Roy character.

Luigi: ...Whatever. There's no hope for you-a.

Luigi selects himself, and Roy choose Mario because he, "was the most redder."

James Woods: I'm beginning to think I made the wrong choice of picking this job.

Samus: Yep!

To make a long story short, Roy drove backwards the whole time, while Luigi actually managed to win. Um, did I read that script right? Luigi WON at Mario Kart?

Luigi: YES! HAHAHA IN YOUR FACE! I AM THE KING-A! BOW BEFORE MY-A MARIO KART "mad skillz0rz!"

Roy: How did he win? I crossed the finish line three times way before he did!

James Woods: Driving in circles around the finish line doesn't count Roy. Please leave the van and go back into the Smash Mansion.

Roy: Wow, you're not going to send me to the Void or the Underworld or hurt me in some unpleasant way? Thanks Mr. Woods!

James Woods: Don't mention it. I figure you're stupid enough to get hurt on your way back anyways.

As Roy climbs out of the van, he trips and lands flat on his face on the groud.

-A couple hours later, in the Underworld-

Crazy Hand: Ok Master Hand, you can do this. Just make your move and CRUSH the enemy.

Master Hand: Shush! I'm trying to concentrate! Ummm...

Crazy Hand: Just guess! Who cares about this?

Master Hand: Was it...Professor Plum in the Ballroom with the Knife?

Auron: No.

Master Hand: DAMN!

Crazy Hand: Why would you guess that, you idiot? YOU HAVE ALL THOSE CARDS!

Master Hand looks down at his cards and does indeed have them.

Master Hand: Drat! Well, I'll win this game yet!

Auron: Mrs. White in the Kitchen with the Candlestick.

Master Hand: Ah, you're wrong I have the...well, ok, but I have the...Maybe not, but at least I've got...Come Crazy Hand, we've no time to be wasted on this stupid game!

Auron: Don't get mad just because I won.

Master Hand: SILENCE!

Crazy Hand: We can't close like that, you said that last time. Try some foreshadowing.

Master Hand: Hm, foreshadowing. That could work. -clears throat- Stay tuned to find out who the ghost is!

Crazy Hand: That was a bit much, the fans haven't even seen the ghost yet. You need practice.

Master Hand: They haven't? Aw hell.

-Night 6-

Samus: Ah, sweet salvation. No Roy trying to touch me in a place or way that makes me feel uncomfortable...

Mario: I-a win!

Luigi: NO! HOW COULD THIS HAPPEN TO ME? WAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!

Young Link: Shut up! No one cares how much you suck at Mario Kart!

Luigi: B-but, I beat Roy!

Samus: Yes, but Roy is a dumbass. He wouldn't know the difference between racing and swinging a sword.

Luigi: DAMN YOU JAMES WOODS FOR GIVING ME FALSE CONFIDENCE!

Young Link: I wish Ness & Kirby were still here. At least I could have some conversations with them.

Samus: You could talk to me, you know.

Young Link: No, you're a girl. I just stare at your boobs via the rear-view mirror, not have conver...I mean...

Samus promptly shoot a missle at Young Link, but misses and hit Mario instead.

Mario: Damn-a Samus!

Luigi: Oh my God...I...I...I-a win!

Mario: No way-a! You couldn't have-a!

Luigi: I DID! I-A WIN! I-A WIN! IN YOUR FACE MARIO! HA HA HA HA HA! GOD LOVES ME!

Mario: No fair, I was distracted!

Luigi: TOO DAMN BAD! HA HA HA HA!

Samus: You know Luigi, people loved the thing where you kept losing. You may have to be voted out to save the ratings now.

Luigi: Ha! I will never be voted out! I will win the next challenge, whenever it is!

James Woods: Glad you feel that way Luigi. Because the next challenge is first thing tommorrow, with a special reward for the winners.

Samus: What is the reward?

James Woods: Well now if I told you it wouldn't be a secret reward now would it?

Young Link: But...You said it was a special reward, not a secret reward.

James Woods: SILENCE IMPUDENT DOG! DO NOT QUESTION ME!

Young Link: Yipes! Yes sir!

-Day 7-

It is 6:00 A.M. and all the Smash Brothers were sleeping soundly. That is until James Woods blew a giant air horn in their ears.

James Woods: EVERYONE UP!

All: Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhh! Yes sir!

James Woods: Glad to see you all up and awake. For this challenge, Roy was kind enough to be our, ahem, voulenteer.

Roy: I was promised cookies for an easy job for me!

James Woods: Yes, since I know how easily you can get hurt Roy, this challenge is, whoever kicks Roy's ass in the coolest fasion will win!

Roy: Um, hey, that isn't fair! I was tricked!

Samus: YES! THIS IS MY CHALLENGE RIGHT HERE!

And without another word, Samus armed a bunch of missles and fired a full spread at Roy, and quicky rushed over and and charged multiple beam attacks, each knocking Roy higher and higher, and after about an hour he finally cam back down, only to meet a screw attack by Samus.

James Woods: Ummm, is there even enough left of him to continue the challenge?

Young Link: Yeah, if you want to find all the pieces of him scattered around the world and put them back together.

James Woods: Yeah, I think we'll just assume no one would do better anyway, so Samus is the winner!

Samus: Yay! What's my prize?

James Woods: A date with Roy!

Samus' eye twitches inside her helmet.

Samus: If you weren't kidding I'll kill you, bring you back to life, tourture you until you die after years of pain, and the bring you back to life and kill you again.

James Woods: Geez, SOMEONE can't take a joke.

Samus: I don't joke, Mr. Woods.

James Woods: The real prize is, you can choose anyone from the Smash Mansion that hasn't already been in the Van to join the game!

Samus: That's it? Well I don't care, so Young Link can pick.

Young Link: Gee, thanks Samus!

Mario: Hey-a, why not me or Luigi?

Samus: Because you would pick Peach, and I hate Peach.

Young Link: Well, I choose...Hmmm...Pikachu!

James Woods snaps his fingers, and Pikachu appears.

Pikachu: What the...Damn, and I was just about to get some too! What do you guys want?

Young Link: You get to come in the Van with us!

Pikachu: Noooooooooooooooooo!

James Woods: Sorry Pikachu, you've been chosen. Into the van!

Pikachu: Damn youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!

-To Be Continued...-

A/N: Sorry for taking so damn long guys. R&R! 


	7. Chapter 7

Two Weeks in a Mini-Van by Charismatic Enigma

Disclaimer: I don't own Nintendo, Toyota, Super Smash Brothers: Melee, or anything else I forgot.

-Night 7-

Pikachu: I hate you Young Link.

Young Link: Sorry, but I was about to go crazy here with all these idiots.

Luigi: Say it again!

Mario: No, I've already said it-a five times!

Luigi: SAY IT!

Mario: Sigh...You-a won.

Luigi: HAHAHA! Say it one more time!

Samus fires a missle in Luigi's face.

Luigi: Don't be jealous of my master Mario Kart DS skills!

Pikachu Thundershocks Luigi.

Samus: I think I am going to like you being here, Pikachu.

Pikachu: I like you being here too Samus...

Samus: Why, thanks.

Pikachu: But baby, I'd like you even better in my bed!

Samus fires a missle in Pikachu's face.

Mario: Sigh...Just when you thought the perverted one was gone...

Pikachu: Ah, but unlike Roy I get some most of the time. I mean, come on, can you resist this face if you're a woman?

Pikachu made quite possibly the cutest face in history.

Samus: Awwwwwwwww...I'm sorry for shooting you Pikachu.

Pikachu: That's all right Samus...You can make up for it later...

Pikachu winks in Samus' direction.

Samus winks back, and then fires a missle in Pikachu's face.

Pikachu: -cough-

Young Link: Well, after a week, I must say I wish I hadn't come.

Mario: Wow, it's-a been a week already?

Young Link: Yeah, didn't you read the little "-Night 7-" thing at the top of this page?

Then, all of a sudden, a ghost popped out of nowhere!

Ghost: Oooooooooooo! I'm a ghost!

In reality, it was just Master Hand wearing a sheet with holes cut out for his fingers.

Mario: Master Hand? Is that you?

Master Hand: Uhh, no! No! I'm a ghost! Oooooooooooo!

Young Link: Then why did it say Master Hand next to your text?

Master Hand: ...Damn! Foiled again!

Master Hand quickly flees back to the Underworld, most likely to procrastinate plotting revenge and getting beat by Auron in board games.

Pikachu: Does stuff like that happen often?

Young Link: All the time.

Samus: It's quite normal.

Luigi: Almost as normal as my OWNING AT MARIO KART! HA HA HA!

Mario shoots a fireball at Luigi.

-Day 8-

James Woods: Ok everyone, time for the immunity challenge. We're having it early due ot the lack of anything else interesting to do.

And with that, all of the Smash Brothers piled out of the van into the vast lawn of the backyard of the Smash Mansion, awaiting James Woods to explain the newest challenge that would mean immunity for one lucky Smash Brother. Or perhaps lucky isn't the right word for this. As the Smash Brothers were waiting for what challenge awaited them, Master Hand was facing a challenge of his own.

In some remote corner of the Underworld, Master Hand and Auron were playing N64 Pokemon Stadium against each other. Apparently, a fierce battle was in the making.

Crazy Hand; Why the hell are you guys playing N64? It's called a Gamecube, people.

Auron: N64 will always hold a special place in my heart.

Master Hand: Yeah man, it's the system I made my first appearnce. I get teary-eyed just thinking about it. Sigh...I was so young back then.

Back in the game, Master Hand was getting totally owned. His three Weedles weren't faring well against Auron's Moltress, Charizard, and Ho-oh...Wait a second, Ho-oh on N64? What the hell?

Auron: Some may call me a 1337 hax0rz.

Long story short, Master Hand yet again was destroyed in a trivial and pointless game with no purpose than to fill up space.

Master Hand: Will I ever defeat you at anything, Auron?

Auron: Yeah, a sucking contest! LOL PWNT!

Crazy Hand: This is what I have to put up with everyday.

Well, no that that pointless segment is out of the way, we return to the Smash Brothers, who are about to face an immunity challenge created by James Woods.

James Woods: Ok Smash Brothers, you guys are actually going to have to work to win this immunity, unlike all of Master Hand's dumb challenges. Rock, Paper, Scissors...Pathetic. This will be a simple free-for-all fight to the finish. Behold!

And with that, James Woods snapped his fingers and all the contestants in the screwed up game were magically teleported to Final Destination. It was here that the fight would take place to determine the winner of immunity.

Disembodied Voice: Hey guys, remember me? I announced Samus winning when she beat those Final Fantasy dudes!

Samus: I don't think anyone cares, Mr. Voice. Just do your job so I can get to the ass-kicking.

Disembodied Voice: Hpmh. Maybe I won't if you're going to be so rude.

Samus: You may only be a disembodied voice, but I will still hunt you and your little family of disembodied voices down and torture you all in front of each other through years of pain, suffering and misery. Do you want that?

Disembodied Voice: Fine, have it your way.

A Burger King employee then attempted to hand the disembodied voice a check, but failed!

Mario: Oh God, here we go-a with the Final Fantasy crap again-a.

Sephiroth: That's right, I'm back, and this time I'm not going to be offed with something called 'Screw Attack!' That's so unbadass like!

Cloud Strife: I just want all that hair gel back. My gravity defying hair is staring to come down to Earth, thus making me less important to the story.

Aerith: I'm...dead.

And with that, Aerith imploded.

Leon: I dreampt I was a moron...

Kefka: I hate hate hate hate hate hate hate hate hate hate hate hate hate hate hate hate hate hate hate hate hate hate hate hate hate hate hate hate hate hate hate hate hate hate hate hate hate hate hate hate hate hate hate hate hate hate hate hate hate hate hate hate hate hate hate hate hate hate hate hate hate hate hate hate hate hate you!

Selphie: I LIKE TRAINSSSSSSSSSSSS!

James Woods: Well, as much as I hate to change my plans, I guess we will set up a minuature tournament, also involving the interfering Final Fantasy characters. Whichever Smash Brothers character wins or lasts the longest in the tournament will win immunity.

Round 1:

1. Sephiroth vs. Mario 2. Cloud vs. Samus 3. Leon vs. Luigi 4. Selphie vs. Pikachu 5. Kefka vs. Young Link

Round 2:

1 vs. 2 3 vs. 4 vs. 5

Final Round:

1/2 vs. 3/4/5

And thus, James Woods snapped his fingers, and everyone excluding Mario and Sephiroth were whisked away to James Woods only know where.

Sephiroth: I will destroy you all! Ha ha ha ha!

Mario: We'll see about that-a, Sephiroth!

Sephiroth: Enough words! Let's see what you Nintendo fools have got!

Sephiroth drew the Masamune, and the sheer length and level of badass of it frightened Mario. Then, One Winged Angel kicked in, thus scaring him even more.

Sephiroth: Show me your strength!

Right off the bat, Sephiroth rushed at Mario with a devastating combo of attacks, heavily damaging Mario. Mario attempted to jump on Sephiroth's head, but he kept teleporting behind him and hitting Mario with more and more punishing combo attacks. But Mario wouldn't give up just because of some flashly attacks. Sephiroth teleported behind Mario, but he was ready. Mario used his cape to deflect Sephiroth's attack. Sephiroth was stunned momentarly, and Mario seized his oppertunity. he sent a huge barage of fireballs at Sephiroth knock him far off the stage. However, Sephiroth merely teleported back to the stage before flying into oblivion.

Sephiroth: No more games!

Upon saying those words, Sephiroth floated high above Final Destination and and started to glow with darkness.

Sephiroth: Descend Heartless Angel!

Then, suddenly, Mario felt as though all of his strength had been sucked away from him. He felt like he had only the slightest amount of life in him. As he struggled to get of, Sephiroth simply sliced him with the masamune, thus defeating Mario.

Disembodied Voice: This game's winner is...Sephiroth!

Sephiroth: Not good enough!

Mario was healed, and returned to the van to await his fellow vanmates to return, while Sephiroth awaited his next opponent.

Cloud and Samus both then appeared on Final Destination. They stared each other down.

Cloud: Just give me my hair gel! I need it!

Samus: Tell you what. You can pry it from my cold, dead, hands!

Cloud: You're killing yourself!

Rather than continue speaking, Samus fired a missle in Cloud's direction, then charged her beam. Cloud simply sliced the missle in half with the Buster Sword, then charged at Samus. He charged right into a charged beam shot, and went flying away. Then, Samus got an idea. She started throwing the hair gel at Cloud.

Cloud: Glad you decided to see it my way.

Samus kept on throwing and throwing the hair gel, until Cloud's hair started to expand and get higher.

Cloud: Ok, ok, that's good!

Samus didn't stop, and Cloud began to float away due to the huge mass of his hair.

Cloud: Help me! I'm flying away and I can't control myself! Ahhhh!

And thus, Cloud floated off into oblivion.

Disembodied Voice: This game's winner is...Samus!

Samus: What a joke.

And so, Cloud floated away back into the world of Final Fantasy 7, while Samus awaited her next opponent.

And so, Leon and Luigi were teleported onto Final Destination.

Luigi: Are you ready for TEH MARIO KART MAST0R?

Leon: ...

Luigi: Speechless, eh? Can't say I blame you!

Leon: Whatever.

Rather than write another boring fight scene, lets jsut say Leon shot Luigi with his gunblade, thus winning.

Disembodied Voice: This game's winner is...Leon!

Leon: Whatever.

And so, Luigi was sent back into the van along with his brother, while Leon sat in wait of his next opponent.

Blah blah blah, Selphie and Pikachu are at Final Destination, blah blah blah, you get it.

Selphie: I LIKE TRAINS!

Pikachu: Is this seriously my opponent?

Selphie: Ohhhhhhhhhhhh! Aren't you just the cutest little thing!

Selphie rushed over to Pikachu and picked him up and began to cuddle with him.

Selphie:

Pikachu: Can't...breathe...too...tight...

Selphie: I WUV YOUUUUUUUU!

Pikachu: Pika...

Selphie: YOU'RE SOOOOOO CUUUUUTE!

Pikachu: CHU!

Following that, a huge bolt of lightning struck down and exploded Selphie.

Disembodied Voice: This game's winner is...Pikachu!

Pikachu: Cough, hack. Stupid people...

Pikachu waits for his opponent, Selphie goes away, Kefka and Young Link appear on Final Destination. Got it memorized?

Axel: Hey, that's my line!

Axel Foley: Hey don't be stealin' my name fool!

Axel Rose: Welcome to the jungle!

James Woods: ENOUGH!

Kefka: I hate hate hate hate hate hate hate hate hate hate hate hate-

Young Link cut Kefka off right there and knocked him into oblivion.

Kefka: hate hate hate hate hate hate hate hate hate hate hate hate...

Disembodied Voice: This game's winner is...Young Link!

Round 2 then began.

Sephiroth and Samus stared each other down. It was the best of both worlds facing off right here.

We interrupt this epic battle with a totally meaningless trip to the Underworld.

Master Hand: I am so pretty...

Auron: Oh so pretty...

Master Hand & Auron: OH SO PRETTY AND WITTY AND GAYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY!

Crazy Hand: What the hell?

Master Hand: Come one Crazy, join in!

Auron: It's fun!

Crazy Hand: Ahhhhhhhhhhhhh!

And now back to the epic battle.

Disembodied Voice: This game's winner is...Sephiroth!

Sephiroth: Ha ha ha ha...Die, die, die!

Oops, look likes we missed it. My bad.

Meanwhile, in the van...

Mario: I am so pretty...

Luigi: Oh so pretty...

Mario and Luigi: OH SO PRETTY AND WITTY AND GAYYYYYYYYYYY!

Samus: Let me out of here!

Oh snap, looks like we just missed another battle. How careless of me!

Disembodied Voice: This game's winner is...Pikachu!

Pikachu: Yay?

Sephiroth: This is my final opponent? A rat? Ha ha ha ha, is this a joke? I think I'll cook you once I'm through with you!

Pikachu: Rat? You're gonna regret that one, pretty-boy!

Sephiroth: Pip-squeak!

Pikachu: Fag!

Sephiroth: Weakling!

Pikachu: Your wardrobe looks like something left over from a Duran Duran garage sale!

Sephiroth: NOW YOU DIE, PATHETIC MOUSE!

One Winged Angel kicked in, and Sephiroth raised his sword to the sky.

Sephiroth: Show me your strength!

Pikachu: Kay.

Pikachu then proceeded to summon down the most powerful lightning bolt he could upon Sephiroth's sword, using it as a conducter. Sephiroth went flying off into the distance.

Sephiroth: This can't be! Beaten by a rat? This is worse than getting killed by Screw Attack! Damn youuuuuuuuuu...

Disembodied Voice: This game's winner is...Pikachu!

Pikachu: Zzzzz...Oh, is it over?

James Woods: Congradulations, Pikachu! You've won immunity.

Pikachu: That wasn't so tough.

James Woods: Well, off to the van with you.

-Night 8-

Pikachu: Tom Cruise.

Young Link: Mission: Impossible.

Pikachu: John Voight.

Young Link: Anaconda.

Pikachu: Owen Wilson.

Young Link: The Haunting.

Pikachu: Liam Neeson.

Young Link: Star Wars: Episode I.

Pikachu: Ewan McGregor.

Young Link: Black Hawk Down.

Pikachu: Tom Sizemore.

Young Link: Saving Private Ryan.

Pikachu: Tom Hanks.

Young Link: Apollo 13.

Pikachu: Ed Harris.

Young Link: The Rock.

Pikachu: Nicholas Cage.

Young Link: Raising Arizona.

Pikachu: John Goodman.

Young Link: Emporer's New Groove.

Pikachu: David Spade.

Young Link: 8 Heads in a Duffel Bag.

Pikachu: Joe Pesci.

Young Link: Home Alone.

Pikachu: Daniel Stern.

Young Link: Very Bad Things.

Pikachu: Cameron Diaz.

Young Link: There's Something About Mary.

Pikachu: Brett Favre.

Young Link: Ummm, wait, he hasn't been in any other movies!

Pikachu: Exactly. I win.

Young Link: Damnit!

Samus: Wow, neither you have anything resembling a life whatsoever.

Pikachu: Well, the word duh comes to mind.

Mario: Well, I'm getting to sleep now.

Luigi: Me too.

All: Goodnight.

Luigi: Pssst...Mario...

Mario: What?

Luigi: Come closer...

Mario scooted over by Luigi, and Luigi moved closer to his ear...

Luigi: I-A WIN!

Mario: AHHHHHHHH!

To Be Continued... 


	8. Chapter 8

Two Weeks in a Mini-Van by Charismatic Enigma

Disclaimer: I don't own Nintendo, Toyota, Super Smash Brothers: Melee, or anything else I forgot.

A/N: This edition is special because I actually ran a spell check! Coherency / 10!

-Day 9-

We see a dark room with just a single dim light hanging above the ceiling. Here a meeting of evil intent is taking place. A shroud of mystery is over this place...And then the rest of the lighting kicked back in after the electric bill was paid.

Crazy Hand: My eyes! Ouch that's bright!

Master Hand: What eyes?

Crazy Hand: ...That's a good question. Do I mean...my fingernails?

Master Hand: Whatever. Listen, we're all here for a reason. And that reason is-

Kirby: The free buffet?

Master Hand: No! We're here because-

Ness: This is stupid, pointless, filler meant to waste space?

Master Hand: No! Well, yes, partly, but that isn't the main reason! The four of us are going to get REVENGE.

Kirby: But there is a free buffet, right?

Master Hand: Sigh...Yes, over there.

Kirby: Awesome!

Kirby quickly demolishes the buffet and returns to his cheap little metal folding chair.

Ness: I don't really want revenge.

Master Hand then waves his finger.

Master Hand: You DO want revenge.

Crazy Hand: Oh God, not this Star Wars crap again. I thought we were through this...

-Flashback-

Crazy Hand: You spent two-hundred dollars on WHAT?

Master Hand then whips out a green replica lightsaber.

Master Hand: Luke Skywalker's lightsaber from Episode VI! And check out this awesome glove I got too!

Master Hand then puts on a glove with a picture of Darth Vader and text reading "Vader was framed."

-End Flashback-

Ness: ...No, I don't want revenge.

Master Hand: Uhhh, are you sure?

Ness: Yes, I'm sure.

Master Hand then waves his finger again.

Master Hand: These aren't the droids you're looking for.

Ness: What droids?

Master Hand: HA! Exactly!

The scene WILL change to the van now.

Samus was curled up in a morph ball whispering to herself.

Samus: Escape...Escape...ha ha ha...

Young Link: Well, Samus has lost it.

Pikachu: Now that she is vulnerable, I'll make my move. More likely to get my fun stuff touched that way.

Mario: You are one sick little mouse, Pikachu.

Luigi: So true. Almost as true as-

Everyone: Don't say it!

Pikachu: So, hey Samus baby, how are you doing?

Samus: Doing? D OI + NG. Ha ha ha...Escape...

Pikachu: ...Kay. Glad to hear it. How about after this game we head down to my room for some fun time?

Samus: No escape...Van...Sorry Pikachu's fun stuff, no deal...Ha ha ha...

Pikachu: Damn.

James Woods: As exciting as life in the van is, we're going to have a challenge for a reward.

Young Link: Reward!

Pikachu: Reward!

James Woods?

Mario: Reward!

Luigi: Reward!

Samus: Reward...Ha ha ha...

James Woods: Whatever, let's ju-

All: REWARD! ADVENTURE! TREASURE! YO HO A PIRATE'S LIFE FOR ME!

James Woods: ...Get out of the van.

Meanwhile, back at the not-so-mysterious room...

Master Hand: Do you want revenge now?

Ness: No.

Master Hand waved his finger in front of Ness.

Master Hand: You want revenge.

Ness: No, I don't.

Master Hand then reached into his pocket and took out a Klondike Bar.

Master Hand: Would you want revenge for a Klondike Bar?

Ness: No. I hate Klondike Bars.

Master Hand: Damn! I was sure that would work!

Back outside the Smash Mansion...

James Woods: Okay morons, I will be having a DVD Player installed into the van no matter who wins.

Studio Audience: Oooh! Ahhh!

Pikachu: I thought that studio audience moved away?

Samus: Ha ha ha...Studio...

James Woods: Okay, since Samus appears to be mentally unstable, I will randomly pick someone to replace her.

Samus: SALVATION!

James Woods: ...

Samus: Uh, I mean...No escape...Ha ha ha...?

James Woods: You'll be sticking around Samus.

Samus: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!

Darth Vader: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!

Tyson Tomko: No.

Will Smith: Aw hell naw.

James Woods: ...No comment. Anyway, whoever wins this challenge will have control of the DVD player for the rest of the game!

Pikachu: Maybe I can play something to get Samus in the mood.

Samus: For the love of all that is holy do not let Pikachu win.

James Woods: Here is the challenge. I've hidden five tokens with a picture of me on it in five different places in the mansion. Each piece has one of your names on it. Whoever can obtain their token and bring it back to me first will be declared the winner. If you find someone else's token, do not touch it or move it in anyway. If you touch a token that isn't your own, you get a deadly electric shock through your body. Ready, set, go!

Everyone then made a mad dash into the Smash Mansion to seek out their token. Well, except Luigi, who just simply walked, taking his time.

Pikachu, rather than actually attempt to win, decided to "accidentally" walk into the women's shower room. Unfortunately for him, Roy was the only one there, very obviously hidden in a trash can. Pikachu decided to thunder shock the trash can and leave.

Luigi was searching the Rec Room when he noticed something familiar happening. Link, Marth, Gannondorf, and Yoshi were sitting at a Poker table.

Link lays down a King.

Link: King me!

Gannondorf: Why do we keep inviting him?

Marth: I don't know.

Yoshi: Hey, Luigi, come play with us. Maybe you can win your clothes back.

It was just then that both the author and Luigi realized Luigi was still without clothing. Embarrassed, Luigi turned a red shade in more than one place and ran to his room to change into one of his outfits, and the author ran off to cry and be ashamed.

Meanwhile, the first place Mario searched was under his bed. OMG SMRPG REFERENCE! Alas, he did not find his token there. And so he did weep. Then he did contemplate suicide, but decided against it.

And so he did search further for his token. Young Link was about to make a sandwich, but remembered all the turkey was gone. So while searching the fridge, he saw a token in the Mountain Dew case! He grabbed it, but unfortunately it wasn't his, so a deadly electric charge was sent through his body and he died. Oops! Samus tried to hang herself, but unfortunately her Power Suit saved her. She tried to shoot herself but it deflected off her Power Suit. She banged her head against the wall in frustration, causing the wall to collapse.

Falco: WHAT THE HELL? That really hurt!

Samus fired a missile at Falco.

Back to Pikachu, he found Mario's coin hidden in the leftover pasta. You see what I did there?

Pikachu, obviously being immune to deadly electric charges, ate it.

Pikachu: And so my chances go up...Mario won't find his token until I need to use the bathroom...Hehehe...

Luigi put on his fire suit and then returned to the Rec Room. Then he noticed one of Marth's poker chips was his token!

Luigi: Somebody up there really hates me.

And so, Luigi walked over to the table.

In the meantime, in the Living Room, James Woods and Mewtwo were conversing.

Mewtwo: So just how powerful is this electric charge you've whipped up?

James Woods: Oh, I managed about 1.21 Jigawatts.

Mewtwo: 1.21 JIGAWATTS?

Doc: GREAT SCOTT!

Hulk Hogan: WELL LEMME TELL YA SOMETHIN' MEAN GENE BROTHER-

Mewtwo: Who's Mean Gene?

Hulk Hogan: Quiet, I'm sellin' tickets here brother! ANYWAY, LEMME TELL YA SOMETHIN' MEAN GENE BROTHER, ONE POINT TWENTY ONE JIGAWATTS OF ELECTRICITY WOULD TAKE A BOLT OF LIGHTNING TO CREATE THAT MUCH POWER BROTHER!

Mewtwo: What in the world?

Hulk Hogan: WHATCHA' GONNA DO WHEN ONE POINT TWENTY ONE JIGAWATTS OF ELECTRICITY RUN WILD ON YOUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU!

James Woods: I knew I made the wrong choice.

Elsewhere...

Master Hand: Now?

Ness: No.

Master Hand: Now?

Ness: No.

Master Hand: Now?

Ness: Yes!

Master Hand: Really?

Ness: No.

Back with Luigi...

Luigi was nude again. He lost everything. Again. And so he wept. Then everyone left the table, and Luigi took his token. Then, he proceeded to change into a Raccoon Suit.

Luigi: Mr. Woods, I found my token.

James Woods: ...Hahahahaha!

Mewtwo: Hahahahaha!

Hulk Hogan: HA HA HA BROTHER!

Luigi looked at himself, and realized he had mistakenly put on his Frog Suit. Wait, why would you even own a Frog Suit?

Luigi: It was Halloween, okay!

James Woods: Well, despite you looking like a damn fool, you've won. However, I forgot how expensive DVD Players are, so instead, you win this.

A gumball poofs into Luigi's hand.

Luigi: What? A gumball! This is an outrage! I have been ripped off! This is...Ooh, watermelon!

Luigi pops the gumball into his mouth and happily walks off to the van.

We now return to the backyard of the Smash Mansion.

James Woods: Okay, everyone in. Hey, where's Young Link?

Samus: I heard he became the most ELECTRIFYING man in sports entrainment.

Pikachu: Really? That's SHOCKING.

James Woods: ...There is no hope. I quit.

James Woods then poofed away to who knows where.

Samus: So, uh, does that mean I can go?

James Woods' Disembodied Voice: No, I'm getting a replacement.

Samus: NOOOOOOO!

Back with Master Hand and company...

Master Hand: Now?

Ness: FOR THE LOVE OF GOD OKAY! I WANT REVENGE! JUST SHUT UP!

Master Hand: Ha! Weak minded fools.

Crazy Hand: Sigh...

James Woods: You can have your damn job back! I don't want it!

And with that James Woods used his magic powers to teleport Master Hand to the van.

Master Hand: So...Uhhh...

Mario: Oh hell, not you again.

Master Hand: Victory! Huzzah! Huzzah!

To Be Continued…


	9. Chapter 9

Two Weeks in a Mini-Van by Charismatic Enigma

Disclaimer: I don't own Nintendo, Toyota, Super Smash Brothers: Melee, or anything else I forgot.

A/N: Someone is going to finally get voted out! But since it's been a while, let me remind you Pikachu holds immunity.

- Night 9 -

Master Hand: Did you all miss me?

Samus: No, not really.

Mario: Nope.

Luigi: Nah.

Pikachu: I wasn't even in the van when you were here, but I doubt it.

Young Link: No.

Luigi: Hey, didn't you die?

Young Link: Well you see, the best I could explain it is quote Einstein and say –

Luigi: Forget it, I don't want to know.

Master Hand: Anyway, tomorrow morning another one of you will be leaving the van. So enjoy your time together tonight. I'll be taking a bath now.

With those words, Master Hand disappeared.

There was silence for a few moments.

Pikachu: So does…Master Hand bathe in like laundry detergent or some shit like that?

- Day 10 -

Master Hand: Rise and shine!

All: Uggggggggggnnnnnhhhhhh…

Master Hand: GET THE HELL UP!

All: AHHHHH!

Pikachu: I didn't sleep with that young trainer, I swear!

Master Hand: …

Samus: Can I please vote for Pikachu?

Master Hand: Unfortunately, no. Now, remember that Pikachu has immunity, so don't vote for him. Let's begin.

Pikachu: I vote for Young Link for bringing me here.

Samus: I vote for Young Link for bringing Pikachu here.

Luigi: I vote for Mario because, although I am now better than him, I still hate him.

Everyone starts snickering at Luigi's Frog Suit.

Mario: I vote for Luigi because…because…HAHAHAHAHAHAHA!

Young Link: I also vote for Luigi. You look like a fag, man.

Luigi: It was Halloween!

Master Hand: Okay, okay, shut up. No matter how stupid he looks in that thing, let's just try to…HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!

Luigi: Screw you guys.

Master Hand: Ohh…Hahaha…Anyway, we have a tie between Young Link and Luigi. To decide who will be leaving, I will flip a giant coin.

A giant coin appears from nowhere into Master Hand's…hand.

Master Hand: Call it in the air!

Master Hand flips the coin.

Young Link: Tails.

The coin comes down, everyone staring in anticipation, except for Pikachu who was taking this chance to look at Samus' cleavage.

Samus fire a missile in Pikachu's face.

Master Hand: It's…Yoshi?

Luigi: This is a Yoshi Coin from Super Mario World, idiot!

Master Hand: Err, well…That's Yoshi's head…So…Luigi wins!

Luigi: HAH! I AM THE BEST!

Samus fires a missile in Luigi's face.

Master Hand: Anyway, off to the Void with you Young Link.

Young Link: NO! YOU'LL NEVER TAKE ME ALIVE!

Master Hand then proceeded to take Young Link to the Void. And he was alive.

In the Void…

Ness: I say old bean, it's Young Link!

Kirby: Huzzah!

Young Link: Oh dear.

Back in the van…

Master Hand: Ok well, incase you didn't know, we are drawing close to the end.

Samus: Praise Jesus!

Mario: Amen.

Pikachu: Preach on.

Luigi: Do I really look that bad in this?

Master Hand: What this is means is we sort of need to pick up the pace. So we are going to have an Immunity Challenge tonight, and tomorrow night another Smasher will be voted out of the van. For now, we're going to take another break because I'm going to go eat a sub now.

With those words, Master Hand left.

There was silence for a few moments.

Pikachu: So does…Master Hand have a mouth?

Outside the van…

Pikachu & Mr. Game & Watch were leaning against the side of the Smash Mansion.

Pikachu: How the hell are you not dead?

Game & Watch shrugs.

Pikachu: Well man now that we're back, let's go cruising for chicks.

Game & Watch points at the van.

Pikachu: Damn, I forgot about that…Oh well, I guess after the game I'll just steal the van, sell it, and it a better ride. Then chicks will be all over us like stupid on Roy. Bong.

Game & Watch nods.

Pikachu: So is…your wang 2D too?

In the meantime, in the Smash Mansion…

Mario and Luigi were sitting on the couch in the living room with Marth and Jigglypuff, watching the TV, when Roy caught their attention from the top of the stairs. He was holding a hose and a flow of water was going down the long stairs.

Roy: Hey guys, check it out! I made a waterslide!

Roy the jumped on, and proceeded to tumble all the way down the stairs, and during his decent probably broke a few things. All the Smashers on the couch share a long and loud laugh.

Luigi: That was so funny! What a dumbass!

Mario: Who?

Luigi: Uhh, Roy, remember?

Marth: I don't know about everyone else but I was laughing at that gay Frog Suit Luigi is wearing.

Jigglypuff: Me too.

Mario: And me.

Luigi: Oh screw you guys.

Back outside, Pikachu and Game & Watch were still leaning on the wall and talking. Pikachu then showed him his red hat similar to Ash's but without the symbol on it. Just then, Peach walked by.

Pikachu: Here GW, let me show you why I call this my lucky hat.

Pikachu then threw his hat a bit towards Peach.

Pikachu: Oh hey Peach, I dropped my hat. Would you mind picking it up?

Peach: Why sure Pikachu!

Peach flashed a big smile, and bent down to pick up the hat, giving Pikachu and Game & Watch a nice view of her…"Trunk" I believe is the urban term. And there was indeed a bit of junk inside of it. Peach gave the hat back to Pikachu and walked of somewhere else.

Pikachu: Heh heh.

Game & Watch nodded.

Meanwhile, in the Commissary…

Samus had just walked in to see why it was taking Master Hand so long to eat his sub. She approached him, and saw a monster sub.

Samus: Holy shit, that's big! It looks pretty ferocious, do you need a hand?

Studio Audience: Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha! The humor being in that Master Hand himself is a hand! Ha, ha, ha!

Master Hand was fending off the monster sub with ketchup.

Master Hand: Sure! He's a tough one!

Studio Audience: Ha, ha, ha! The humor being in that the original thought is 'monster' simply being a metaphor for a particularly large sub, but in fact actually being a monster! Ha, ha, ha!

Samus: I thought that studio audience moved away?

Monster Sub: Yeah, me too.

Back outside…

Pikachu: God, I'm bored, man! This blows! Ahhhh!

Game & Watch walks away, and shortly returns with a boom box. He sets it down, and hits a button. Heavy metal music begins blaring, and Pikachu starts rocking out and jumping around dancing.

Pikachu: MY VAINS FEEL LIKE WORMS DRYING IN THE SUN THIS TAKES TOO LONG STRIPPING SKIN FROM ALL MY BONES PAIN TOO STRONG MY SENSES THEY GO NUMB!

Random passersby started staring wide eyed and grasping their crosses.

Boy: I like that music daddy!

Man: No! That's devil music son! It's a sin to listen to this. You're going to your room when we get home!

Boy: But you heard it too daddy!

Man: ARE YOU QUESTIONING THE LORD'S WORD?

Inside the Smash Mansion…

Luigi was talking into his room to try and find a new wardrobe, and he managed to find a shirt with a fake tuxedo on it. He quickly changed and made his way to the kitchen for a snack. To his dismay, he discovered there was no turkey. Angered, he let out a scream of primal rage, finally letting loose all of the feelings of loneliness, failure, and embarrassment. Most ignored it, figuring it was just part of Pikachu and Game & Watch's music.

Master Hand: All right miscreants, drop whatever you're doing and return to the van.

Luigi dropped the fine china he was about to eat on.

Master Hand: …Ugh. Just go into the van.

To Be Continued…


	10. Chapter 10

Two Weeks in a Mini Van by Charismatic Enigma

Disclaimer: I do not own Nintendo or any of its characters or likenesses to its characters and games.

A/N: HEY GUISE REMEMBER ME I UPDATED LIKE TWO YEARS AGO, WHAT'S UP? Anyway, I'm gonna finish this story in script format just cause it'll be faster, then my next fic will not be in script.

- Night 10 -

Master Hand and Crazy Hand were in the Grand Spiffy Chamber of Hand inside of the Smash Mansion on the tenth night of the games. They were discussing what kind of challenge to give hold for immunity.

Crazy Hand: A sausage eating contest?

Master Hand: No, that's stupid, Crazy.

Crazy Hand: Umm…They could play Battleship?

Master Hand: Hell no, I don't want to even look at another board game…

Auron: Don't be jealous Master Hand.

Master Hand: I'm not jealous! I'm just…Uhh…allergic to board games! Yeah…

Crazy Hand: How did you get here anyway?

Auron: Ancient Ninja secrets.

Master Hand: Since when are you a ninja?

Auron: …Ninja Vanish!

Auron disappeared in a puff of smoke.

Master Hand: …

Crazy Hand: …

Master Hand: …I wish I could disappear in a puff of smoke…

- Meanwhile, in the van… -

Samus: When Samus was in mini van…let my Samus goooooo…

Mario: Why would you even own a shirt like this?

Luigi: It was a costume party, ok?

Pikachu: Wow, another costume party. In order for me to buy that, it would first have to be plausible that you'd even get INVITED to a party.

Luigi: Yeah, well, so is your face!

Pikachu: What? That doesn't make any sense.

Luigi: Neither does your face.

Mario: Oooh, walked right into that one!

Pikachu: Ugh.

Master Hand then makes his usual low-budget entrance with smoke used from cigarette smoke collected in a jar.

Samus: It's times like these I'm thankful for my Power Suit.

Falco: I guess you should be thankful!

Samus: Go back to bed, Falco.

Falco: -frowning- Fine…

Master Hand: Um, excuse me, since when are you guys allowed to have like four lines of dialogue before I get to speak?

Luigi: Your face has four lines of dialogue.

Master Hand: …I don't have a face…

Luigi: …Shut up…

Master Hand: Anyway, it's time for a little midnight-immunity challenge. You will face off in a Sausage Eating Contest, a brilliant plan of my own design.

Pikachu: I bet Luigi will be great at this one.

Luigi: And just what is THAT supposed to mean!?

Master Hand: SILENCE! I'M CLEVER, DARNIT! PAY ATTENTION TO MY CLEVERNESS!

Luigi: Your FACE is clever.

Master Hand: …Uh, yeah, still no face dude.

Luigi: I'll get you one of these days, Hand…

And so, much random bickering later, our four remaining contestants are sitting in front of 25 hotdogs. There is no clear advantage here, as none of them are skinny Chinese dudes. Or really really fat guys named something like "Bub".

Master Hand: Alright, whoever finishes their plate first, wins immunity. Simple.

Luigi: And clean?

Master Hand: RAGH! Now that song is stuck in my head! THANKS!

Mario: You don't have a head.

Master Hand: Oh. Right. I guess it's stuck in my thumb or something then. But enough talk, have at you! Er, I meant to say, BEGIN!

Mario, Luigi, and Pikachu immediately began shoveling hotdogs into their faces. Samus, on the other hand, was playing Tetris inside of her power suit.

Samus: …What? You think I WANT to be immune?

It was around this time Pikachu had reached his limit, and he quickly ran to the bathroom, where he would surely spew. There are some Dixie Cups in there though, so he should be alright.

Now it was down to the brothers Mario. I never really got why their last name was Mario. Why not something normal, like Johnson, or Smith, or Kijahgafcvhgfa? Ok, I made that last one up, but you've got to admit it would be far more interesting than just being Mario Mario. I mean, did they just copy and paste that due to lack of originality?

…I sense I've gone too far. Oh look, we have a winner! Luigi finished just a nose ahead of Mario, thus winning immunity!

Master Hand: Congratulations Luigi! You've won immunity! What do you have to say?

Luigi: …Blegrghghghghghhg!!!!!!!

Luigi then proceeded to spew all over Master Hand.

Master Hand: …And this was a new glove, too. Well, I'll see you guys in the morning for elimination.

Samus: Hallelujah.

- Day 11 -

Samus: For the love of God people, vote me out. I can't take this anymore.

Pikachu: No can do Sammie, without you, it'll be one giant sausage-fest in this van, and I don't think I could handle that.

Samus: -sob- I hate my life.

Pikachu: Well, you know, I could be…ahem, persuaded to vote for you…

Samus: Oh, I know just the way. Come closer Pikachu.

Pikachu: I like the way you think. leans in closer

Samus: Closer…

Pikachu leaned in even closer, and Samus shot him in the face with a missile.

Pikachu: …-cough cough- …She wants me.

Master Hand suddenly made his appearance.

Mario: Wow, what an appearance.

Samus: It was quite sudden.

Master Hand: Oh shut up. It's time to vote someone out of the van, and remember, Luigi immune this time. Samus, you're up first.

Samus: I vote for myself.

Master Hand: Cute. No.

Samus: Ugh, fine. I vote for Pikachu, because if he was gone my van-dwelling existence would be somewhat more bearable.

Pikachu: I vote for Mario, but only cause I can't vote for Luigi.

Mario: I vote for Pikachu because I find the thought of a sex-crazed mouse kind of disturbing.

Luigi: I vote for Mario because I hate him with every fiber of my being.

Master Hand: Well, that decides it. Off to the Void with you, Mario!

Mario: Yeah, but you still suck at Mario Kart, Luigi.

Luigi: Your face sucks.

Mario: Touché.

And thus, Mario was sent to the Void, likely to sit and do nothing but play Go Fish with the others unlucky enough to be sent there in the past.

Master Hand: And then there were three. We're approaching the final stretch, so from here on there will be no more breaks. There will be an immunity challenge on Day 13, and the final challenge will take place on Day 14. Consider today and tomorrow your days off.

Pikachu: Wow, there's going to be an awful lot of filler tomorrow, isn't there?

Master Hand: You know it. See you guys soon.

A/N: Ok, here's the deal. I'm funny again. I'm writing again. And in the excitement of Brawl, I decided I'm gonna wrap this story up before Brawl is released, then, there will be a sequel to TWIAMV. Maybe even many sequels or other wacky stories. Expect the next chapter soon! I won't let you down this time, if anybody is still reading this.


	11. Chapter 11

Two Weeks in a Mini Van by Charismatic Enigma

Disclaimer: I do not own Nintendo or any of its characters or likenesses to its characters and games.

A/N: Delicious filler.

- Night 11 -

Pikachu: So, Samus…Are you from Venus?

Samus: Zebes, actually. Nice try though.

Pikachu: Well, in any case, your butt is OUT OF THIS WORLD.

Samus: Keep up lines like that and I'll make sure your "fun stuff" is out of this world, too.

Luigi: ZING!

Pikachu: Shut up the hell up Tuxedo Mask.

Luigi: …-sob-

- Meanwhile, in the Commissary… -

Roy: Time for a little midnight snack…

And so, Roy crept over to the fridge, in search of something to quell the rumbly in his tumbly. He pulled out some bread and various other condiments when he made a shocking discovery…

Roy: Oh my God! We're out of turkey! This…this is like a slight against GOD!

Pichu: That doesn't make any sense.

Roy: When did you get here?

Pichu: When you weren't looking.

Roy: Fair enough.

- Back in the van… -

Samus is distracted with her game of Tetris, while Luigi and Pikachu attempt to make conversation, as neither of them are tired.

Pikachu: Once this is all over, me and Game & Watch are gonna cruise down to the Quick Stop and pick up some chicks.

Luigi: That'll be a little hard, seeing as he isn't in Brawl.

Pikachu: …Damn, you're right! I'm gonna need a new hetero life-mate!

Luigi: Not it.

Pikachu: It's cute how you think I would consider you.

Luigi: Yeah, well, your face is cute!

Pikachu: …

Luigi: You know what, you can just—

Samus: KISS MY SHINY METAL ASS!

Pikachu: …

Luigi: …

Samus: Huh? Oh, sorry. I needed a long piece, and all I got were the stupid zig zag ones.

- Day 12 -

The day was just beginning in the Smash Mansion, as it always did at the crack of noon. On this day, Roy and Pichu had a mission. Countless lives depended on them. The fate of the entire world was in their hands.

It was time to go buy some turkey.

Roy: Well Pichu, this it. This is our last hurrah. After this, we're gone. We're vanished. We're Caspar! We didn't make it into Brawl.

Pichu: And nothing of value was lost.

Roy: …-sob-

Pichu: Oh God, he's crying. This is gonna be a loooooooooooong trip…

And so, while our heroes journeyed on to the Supermarket, our less fortunate heroes continued their irrelevant, random bickering in the van.

Pikachu: You know, Sammie—

Samus: If you call me Sammie one more time, you're gonna get a missile in your face.

Pikachu: I think that's inevitable either way.

Luigi: He has a point.

Samus then shot Luigi in the face with a missile.

Pikachu: Haha, nice one Sammie!

Samus then shot Pikachu in the face with a missile.

- At the Supermarket… -

Roy: Alright, where do you suppose the keep the turkey?

Pichu: Oh, I don't know, the DELI maybe?

Roy: Nah, I have a Mac. I could never figure out how to work those Deli computers.

Pichu: And to think, in another world, you're a prince.

Roy: I don't see what all the fuss was about Purple Rain. Although, I always used to eat this ice cream called Purple Rain, and it was delicious! I'd always pay in pennies, just to annoy the ice cream man.

Pichu: You know, if I split your head open with an axe right now, I would go to jail. Where's the justice?

Roy: Ooh, hold that thought. Hot babe at 12 o' clock.

Pichu: Uh, she's standing at your 3 o' clock, Roy.

Roy: Nonsense. I know how to tell time, Pichu. I went to high school for like 6 years. I'm no dummy.

Pichu: Lord help us all.

- Back in the van… -

Luigi: So, what are you guys gonna do with your money if you win?

Samus: Years of therapy…

Pikachu: I'll build my dream house…The Pikachu Love-nasium! You're invited of course, Samus.

Samus: Shouldn't you be hitting on Pokemon, or something?

Pikachu: Oh I do, I just live by the saying, "Anything that moves". Or anything that isn't moving, for that matter.

Samus: You are a horrible, disgusting creature.

Pikachu: And you love it.

Samus, as per usual, shot Pikachu in the face with a missile.

Pikachu: Really, you get used to it after awhile. I'm kinda starting to enjoy it. It's sort of like tough love.

Samus then shot Pikachu in the face with an Ice Missile, thus freezing his face and his mouth shut.

Samus: If only I had thought of that sooner…

- Back at the Supermarket… -

Roy: Alright Pichu, I found the turkey.

Roy produced a box of Pop-Tarts.

Pichu: Roy…those are Pop-Tarts.

Roy: Oh…well, they're at least turkey flavored Pop-Tarts, right?

Pichu: Strawberry, actually. My least favorite flavor at that.

Roy: Aw, well, since you like 'em so much, you can have them.

Pichu: How sweet of you. No.

- Night 12 -

After a long, hard journey, Roy and Pichu had finally returned from the Supermarket, and surprisingly enough, they made it out with the turkey.

Pichu: Yeah, only after Roy got thrown out by security. Believe it or not, you're not allowed to hold the guy at the deli at sword-point.

Roy: It was an honest mistake! Anybody could've made it!

Pichu: You keep thinking that.

Roy: Ok, how long should I keep thinking it though? I was planning to imagine Zelda in the shower later before I go to bed.

Pichu: Keep thinking it until you grow a brain.

Roy: I guess I had better buy some seeds then.

Pichu: Somebody find me a noose…

Around the time, Master Hand had entered the van to speak with the occupants.

Master Hand: Alright miscreants, tomorrow will be the final immunity challenge. Of course, since there will be only two people without immunity, whoever wins this challenge decides who will stay, and who will go. See you tomorrow.

Samus: I really hope I leave.

Luigi: I'm gonna win!

Pikachu: Mrpmmmpphhhh.

A/N: Woot, another chapter in the books. Only two more to go. Stay tuned for the exciting conclusions!


	12. Chapter 12

Two Weeks in a Mini Van by Charismatic Enigma

Disclaimer: I do not own Nintendo or any of its characters or likenesses to its characters and games.

A/N: Lol, I guess Game and Watch is, in fact, in Brawl. Oh well. Can't be right all the time.

- Recap -

It is once again morning time at the Smash Brothers Mansion, which is currently undergoing major construction in anticipation of the new arrivals due in the coming months. In the mean time, the Two Weeks in a Mini Van competition is nearing its end. Only Samus, Pikachu, and Luigi remain. Let's take a quick look back on those who were eliminated.

First there was Kirby, who couldn't manage to win immunity in the Dunk Hunk immunity challenge. His own comrades then voted him off for eating the last cookie. He spends his time in the Void under constant watch, in order to keep him from eating the only cards and table they have to play Go Fish with down there.

Next to be eliminated was Ness, who was tricked by Samus in the Rock, Paper, Scissors competition. Young Link voted against his comrade Ness, in order to allow the running gag of Mario beating Luigi at Mario Kart to continue. He spends his time in the Void cheating at Go Fish with his telepathic powers. No one has caught on yet.

Then, it was Roy's turn to be eliminated. He failed to win immunity in the challenge to kill the one responsible for putting up all the fancy, expensive messages. He was tied in votes with Luigi, and so they had a game of Mario Kart DS to decide who would leave. Roy had no idea how to play and thus just drove in circles. Fortunately for him, when he was voted out, replacement host James Woods was in charge. Woods spared him the fate of being sent to the Void or the Underworld, figuring he was stupid enough to get hurt on his own. He then proceeded to trip and fall on his face on his way out of the van.

At this point, there was a reward challenge, involving kick Roy's ass. Needless to say, Samus won. The prize? You can choose any Smasher to join the game. Samus didn't care, and passed her reward to Young Link, who chose Pikachu. According to Pikachu, he was in the middle of getting some, but we don't believe him.

The next immunity challenge was made up on the spot when the Final Fantasy characters invaded for the second time. A tournament ensued, and in the end, Pikachu defeated Sephiroth, who proclaimed he was far too badass to be beaten by a mouse. After a fairly pointless reward challenge that was filled with obscure references, bad puns, and the prize being a gumball, it was time to vote someone out of the van yet again.

James Woods had just about all he could take, and he allowed Master Hand to once again be the host. The votes were cast the next morning, and Luigi was tied with Young Link. In a stroke of originality, Master Hand decided to flip a coin. To make a long story short, Young Link was sent to the Void. Nobody particularly cares what he does.

In the first immunity challenge after the return of Master Hand, the four remaining Smashers had a Sausage Eating Contest. Samus simply played Tetris, rather than participating, and in the end, Luigi was declared the winner of immunity. Mario would be the one with the most votes, and he was sent to the Void. All he does is complain about Luigi beating him, but nobody cares.

The next day, there was some random filler. Roy and Pichu went shopping, and Samus finally figured out a way to shut Pikachu up for a while. And now, it is Day 13, and it's time for the final immunity challenge…

- Day 13 -

Our three remaining Smashers were sound asleep, Samus dreaming of killing Pikachu, Pikachu dreaming of Samus'…"power suit features". Luigi was dreaming about kittens.

As per usual, the Smashers had a rude awakening in the form of Master Hand screaming through a megaphone.

Master Hand: Alright people, get up!

All: Zzz…

Master Hand: NOWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW!

All: YES SIR!

Master Hand: That's more like it. Now then, it's time for your final immunity challenge. Remember, whoever wins today has the advantage of choosing their final opponent, so you'd best fight hard.

Samus: I will, but only because my Tetris game won't work, and I'd love to eliminate Pikachu.

Pikachu: And by "eliminate" we all know you mean "sweetly caress".

Samus: Anymore out of you, and there will be a missile sweetly caressing your face.

Pikachu: I love it when you play hard to get.

Master Hand: SILENCE, ALL OF YOU! Get out of the van, and I will explain what your task is.

And so they did. And there was much rejoicing.

Minstrels: Yayyyy!

And then the minstrels were eaten. And there was much rejoicing.

All: Yayyyy!

Master Hand: Can we please hold the movie references until I'm done talking? That's better. Now, listen up. I had an elaborate, epic final immunity challenge set up, but I'm feeling particularly impatient today, so you guys are just gonna play Guitar Hero.

Samus: Surely you jest.

Master Hand: I never jest. And don't call me Shirley.

Pikachu: Way to break your own rule.

Master Hand: Shut up. We'll be using Guitar Hero 2. Whoever can score highest on Hangar 18 on Expert Mode will be the winner of immunity. GO!

And so, the song began, and Samus immediately ended up crushing her guitar after forgetting to remove her power suit.

Samus: If by "forgetting" you mean, "purposefully", then yes. I forgot.

And so it was down to Pikachu and Luigi. Pikachu had laid his guitar on the floor and was playing with his hands and strumming with his feet. Luigi was holding his upside down. To cut a long story short, Pikachu got five stars, while Luigi tried to figure out what a fret button is.

Luigi: How did he win!? He can't even hold a guitar, let alone play one!

Pikachu: Well Luigi…I just have one thing to say.

Luigi: What?

Pikachu: I-a win!

Luigi: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Luigi began crying in the corner and having a mental breakdown.

Luigi: I'm still the best…I'm still the best…-sob-

Master Hand: Well Pikachu, you've won immunity! This means tonight, you will decide who stays, and who goes. Think long and hard about your decision.

Pikachu: I bet you'll be thinking about something long and hard tonight, MH.

Master Hand: Ha ha. Very funny. Back in the van with you all!

- Night 13 -

Samus: For the love of God Pikachu, just vote me out!

Pikachu: Not happening.

Samus: WHYYYYYYYYYYY!?

Pikachu: Sorry Sammie, you don't put out, I don't vote out.

Samus: I hate you.

Pikachu: I love you too.

Samus (surprise!) shot Pikachu in the face with a missile.

Luigi: I feel so ineffectual.

Samus: That's just because no one likes you. Try dressing like a halfway sane person sometime.

Luigi: …-sob-

And just as Luigi began yet another sob-fest, Master Hand made his appearance.

Master Hand: Alright, it's time for the final elimination. Samus and Luigi must automatically vote for each other, as Pikachu has immunity.

Samus: Unfortunately.

Master Hand: So, it is now up to Pikachu. What is your vote?

Pikachu: Have fun in the Void, Luigi.

Luigi: At least Mario will be there, so I can beat him Mario Kart.

Pikachu: Sure you will.

Samus: -snicker-

Luigi: SHUT UP! I'M-A THE BEST! THE BEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEST!!!!!!!!!!

And this was what Luigi screamed at Master Hand snapped his fingers, and sent Luigi to the dreaded Void.

- In the Void -

Luigi: -falling- AAAAAAAAAAAAaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhh!

Luigi crashed right on to the table on which everybody was playing yet another game of Go Fish.

Mario: Oh great, it's Sir Loses-At-Everything.

Luigi: …-sob-

Ness: Try not to get the cards wet, will you?

- Back in the van -

Master Hand: Well, you two, this is your last night in the van. Rest will, because tomorrow, you will face off in the final challenge. The winner will receive two million yen / credits / whatever it is you people buy stuff with. It's almost over. Goodnight, Smashers.

- To Be Concluded… -

A/N: Almost over…


	13. Chapter 13

Two Weeks in a Mini Van by Charismatic Enigma

Disclaimer: I do not own Nintendo or any of its characters or likenesses to its characters and games.

A/N: The final chapter!

- Day 14 -

Pikachu: Well, this is it Samus. It's me and you. Just as it was meant to be.

Samus: You just can't take a hint, can you?

Pikachu: Nope.

Samus: Fair enough.

Pikachu: So, what sort of challenge do you suppose Master Hand has in store for us today?

Samus: Knowing him, it will be something incredibly cliché, or incredibly stupid.

- In the Smash Mansion… -

Master Hand: ACHOOOOO!

Crazy Hand: You're a hand. You can't sneeze.

Master Hand: I think they're making fun of me again.

Crazy Hand: Don't dodge the question.

Master Hand: There was no question.

Crazy Hand: Is this some pointless filler?

Master Hand: Do you have to ask?

- Back in the van… -

Samus: We can only hope it will be a fight, so I can have a chance to kick your ass.

Pikachu: Haha, oh Sammie, you're so cute when you think you can win.

Samus: Is that a challenge?

Pikachu: I wouldn't dream of it.

Samus: You're cute when you're sarcastic.

Pikachu: Oh? A compliment? Am I making progress?

Samus: Don't get used to it.

Just as Pikachu was about to speak, Master Hand made his appearance in the van.

Master Hand: Hey you two, stop developing your characters. We have a game to play. Step outside the van and I'll let you in on just how you're going to win this competition.

And so, our two remaining Smashers stepped outside into the courtyard on which the van was parked. Master Hand cleared his throat (or whatever he has) as he began to explain the final challenge.

Master Hand: Alright, listen closely; because I'm only gonna say this once. Your goal is to collect the Master Hand Token, a gold coin with my amazingly handsome face on it.

Pikachu: You don't have a face.

Master Hand: SHUT UP AND LET ME FINISH. This coin is in possession of one of your fellow Smash Brothers. It is your goal to search the mansion, find out who has the coin, and get it from him or her by any means necessary.

Samus: Any means necessary? I like the sound of this challenge.

Master Hand: Once you have the coin, run back out here and deliver it to me. Who ever does this will be declared the winner. Ready?

Samus: Ready.

Pikachu: Ready.

Master Hand: On your marks…get set…GO!

And with that, Pikachu and Samus raced into the giant Smash Brothers Mansion. It was even larger now that construction was almost complete, due to the expansion necessary to accommodate the new arrivals. Samus headed up the main stairs, towards the Smashers' rooms, while Pikachu made way to the Commissary.

Samus began kicking down door after door, staring with Roy's room.

Roy: Whatever, not like I'll have to pay for it. I'm leaving. What can I do for you Samus?

Samus simply grinned underneath her helmet, and began firing missiles and blaster shots at Roy, totally annihilating him. She searched his clothes and suitcase, but no sign of the coin anywhere. So she moved on.

Pikachu, meanwhile, was enjoying some chili dogs served up by Chef Game and Watch in the commissary.

Game & Watch: They're a Mobian delicacy, I hear. I've got to learn some new cooking styles, what with all the newcomers. Enjoy that chili dog while it lasts, because once Sonic gets here, he'll likely deplete my supply.

Pikachu: I bet.

Game & Watch: So, what's up? Aren't you supposed to be doing that final challenge or whatever?

Pikachu: Nah, I'll just let Samus have her fun. She deserves to win anyways, what with all that time she spent in the van. Putting up with the likes of Roy and Mario and Luigi is enough to drive anyone insane.

It was at this moment a giant explosion rocked the entire mansion, and screams of pain could be heard ringing through the hallways.

Pikachu: So much for all that construction.

Samus had destroyed one of the bathrooms, in which Link was showering. He was singing the theme to the Love Boat, so if you ask me, he deserved it.

Samus: Give up the coin!

Link: Samus, I'm NAKED right now! Do I LOOK like I have a coin! What am I gonna do, shove it my a—

Samus: Ok, ok, I get it. Carry on with your shower.

Link: I would, but you BLEW IT UP!

Samus: Oh…well, cover up then, no one wants to see your "master sword".

Link turned a bright shade of red in more than one place, and quickly ran off to change. Let us hope his wardrobe is a little bit better than Luigi's. Link ran by Fox, who was dressed in a towel, carrying a rubber ducky.

Fox: …Well, I guess I won't be taking my bath HERE.

Samus: Take that towel off.

Fox: Wow, it must be my lucky day. Shouldn't we do this somewhere a little bit more private, though?

Samus, in keeping with tradition, shot Fox in the face with a missile, and searched for the coin. But Fox did not have it.

Back in the Commissary, Pikachu had finished up his chili dog, and was now eating some ice cream.

Pikachu: So, how much of the mansion do you wager will be left by the time Samus is done?

Game & Watch: Well, she's venting about two weeks of rage, frustration, and insanity, so not much.

Just then, yet another explode shook the mansion, causing Pikachu's ice cream to fall on the floor and break.

Pikachu: …Aw man.

Samus was now confronting Falco, shoving her blaster in his face.

Samus: Cough up the coin, birdbrain!

Falco: …That hurts, Samus.

Samus: Not as much as this is going to.

Samus quickly shot a missile in Falco's face, point blank. I guess we're having bird for dinner. Samus searched the cooked body of Falco, but found no coin. And so her extremely destructive search continued.

Back in the Commissary, Pikachu was eating yet another bowl of ice cream.

Game & Watch: I guess I had better give you this before there's no more Mansion.

Game & Watch then produced Master Hand's coin from his pocket (or whatever he has), and handed it over to Pikachu.

Pikachu: Wow, he gave it to you?

Game & Watch: Nah, he gave it to Roy, but he left it here after eating his turkey sandwich.

And so, Pikachu took the coin and ran outside to meet Master Hand. However, Samus happened to see him, and gathered that he must have found the coin. She quickly jumped down the stairs and attempted to catch Pikachu using her grappling beam, but she just narrowly missed. Pikachu sped across the courtyard, where Master Hand was waiting for him. Just as he was about to get there, he was reacquainted with his old friend, the missile. The coin went flying up in the air, and Samus jumped up and grabbed it. However, just then, Pikachu sent down a powerful thunder shock, causing Samus to drop the coin, and it fell right into the waiting hands of Pikachu.

Pikachu ran the rest of the way, and finally reached Master Hand.

Master Hand: We have a winner! Congratulations, Pikachu! You have won the Two Weeks in a Mini Van competition, and two million dollars! Samus, you win…nothing.

Samus: Damn. I can't believe I did all this for nothing.

Pikachu: Not quite.

Pikachu flipped the coin over to Samus, who caught it, confused.

Pikachu: I just wanted to beat you, but you should be the one who wins. I don't need it all that bad anyways.

Samus: Wow, Pikachu…That's awfully, uh, Un-Pikachu like of you.

Pikachu: Eh, what can I say? You do strange things to me.

Master Hand: Ooh, can I watch?

Samus: If you weren't about to pay me a large sum of money, I would shoot you with a missile right now, Hand.

Master Hand: Oh lighten up. Here's you damn money. Now get off my lawn, damn kids.

Master Hand floated away, grumbling, after handing Samus her prize. Suddenly, a shrill scream echoed through the universe, as Master Hand came flying back.

Master Hand: WHAT HAS HAPPENED TO MY BEAUTIFUL MANSION!?

Samus: Uhh…I happened.

Master Hand: I can't believe this! You've undone months of construction!

Samus: Umm…oops?

Master Hand: That's it. I'm taking that prize money back. THAT should cover it. Have a nice day, you two.

And so, Master Hand took the prize money back, and floated away, likely to make some phone calls to the construction company.

Pikachu: Well…at least you got to blow some shit up?

Samus: And at the end of the day, that's all that really matters.

Pikachu: Well, I've got about 20 bucks hidden underneath my LL Cool J hat. Want to go get something to eat?

Samus: Why Pikachu…are you asking me out? Without any sexual innuendos?

Pikachu: Oh ye of little faith. I'm perfectly capable being a gentleman, you know.

Samus: We'll see about that. Shall we go?

Pikachu: Might as well. I don't Master Hand is going to let you back in for awhile.

Samus: Yeah, you're probably right.

Pikachu: Anything else you wanted to do?

Samus: Yes, actually.

Samus smiled, and shot Pikachu in the face with a missile.

Pikachu: -cough- I'm actually starting to enjoy that.

Samus: You'd better get used to it.

And so, Samus and Pikachu left the mansion. What is in store for them and the rest of our Smashers in the future? Only time will tell.

THE END

A/N: Well, it only took like, what, three years? But it's finally over. I'm not sure what my next story will be, but there will be more. Just you wait…

Thanks to everyone who read, reviewed, and etc. I love you all. In the most non sexual way possible. I hope you'll check out my future stories, because I can promise they will be much better than this.


End file.
